Spold Mac

One of my favorite restaurants in Portland is The Montage, located underneath the Morrison Bridge, just on the Southeast side of the city. It's a cajun spot with sassy servers, viking-style seating, dim lights and late hours. I love this place, and even more, I love their famous mac n' cheese dishes. So when I went vegan, I was a little bit sad (though eventually satisfied, to be honest) when ordering a black-eyed-pea salad at this spot.

Their most popular dishes are the Old Mac, the Spicy Mac, and the Spold Mac - a combination of both. I always order the Spold, so here's a veganized version of one of my favorite dishes ever. It's creamy, spicy, and super super nostalgic in just the right kind of mid-90's Portland sort of way.

3 cloves garic, minced
1/2 C cauliflower, chopped
1/2 C shredded carrots, chopped
1/2 package tempeh, cubed
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp oregano
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 C nutritional yeast
1/4 C soy sauce
2 T chili garlic sauce
1/4 C soy creamer

First, boil some pasta. I happened to have a mix of shells, rotini and macaroni and it was perfect. But I recognize this dish is indeed a mac dish, so feel free to just use elbows.

Meanwhile, saute your garlic, cauliflower, carrots and tempeh in olive oil, over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes. Then add your spices and nutritional yeast, and cook another two minutes.

Next, add your cooked pasta and toss with the veggies, stirring constantly for a minute or so to make sure the pasta is well mixed with the spice. Finally, reduce heat and add the soy sauce, chili garlic sauce and soy creamer, and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Enjoy with frog legs, alligator jambalaya and a Red Stripe beer! I mean. Or.

Orange Blossom Green Tea Cookies with Candied Tangerine

This recipe is inspired by my Instagram friend Jen, who recently has been posting a lot of photos of cookies and treats with tea in them. Please go read her blog NOW. You will never be the same.

These cookies are super easy, but before we get to them, let's talk about candied tangerine peels. I realize that it's Christmastime, and every morning regular whose name you don't know at your coffee shop is handing out plastic bags full of candied orange peels, which you will ultimately snack on for less than 3 minutes before leaving in the back room until the New Year. They're simple but they're not-so-simple, they're tasty but not necessarily something you crave. They are kind of cute? They sparkle? But they're not endearing. It's true.

UNLESS you use them to top your pastries, in my opinion. The bitter citrus rind packs a powerful punch, and can add complexity to anything. But be careful, because they certainly overpower even the strongest flavor. I like using them to compliment already citrus-y flavors. 

I only used tangerines because I had been eating a bag of them at the house this week. I do, however, like that they're a little stronger flavor than your typical Valencia orange.

Make these candied tangerines first, of course, because they take a hella long time. Here's what you need:

tangerine peels, sliced into strips - I used 5 peels because that's what I had on hand

4 C sugar. Seriously.

1 C water

Toss the peels in a pot of water and bring to boil, then drain and rinse the peels with cold water. Repeat this process twice more, to mellow out the bitterness of the peel. 

Next, whisk the sugar with the 1C water and cook on low for about 6 minutes. Reduce to simmer and add the peels, then cook without stirring for about 45 minutes. Drain the peels (but haste makes waste, and we can definitely use this syrup for something in the future), then roll them in sugar and place on a rack for a hella long time. Like 5 hours, or more if you're not in a hurry. I let mine dry overnight. My dad put them on top of his trailer in the garage, actually. How sweet.

The cookies are super simple: I just added crushed tea to my favorite sugar cookie recipe. Here's how to make the cookies:

1 1/4 C all-purpose flour

3/4 C powdered sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1 T cornstarch

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp cream of tartar

2 bags of orange green tea, finely crushed (I used Tazo Orange Blossom... delicious! And free with my Starbucks partner markout)

1/2 C coconut oil at room temperature, soft but not melted

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 soy milk

In a medium mixing bowl, combine your wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together your dry ingredients, then add to the wet ones. If your dough is too soft, add more soy milk, or even a dash of canola oil. 

Most great bakers make a good case for chilling your sugar cookie dough at least two hours before baking, to which I say, listen, I am an impatient gal. But since my orange peels are just sitting in the garage anyhow, it wouldn't hurt to wait.

When ready to bake, heat your oven to 350. Bake for 10-12 minutes on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Top with candied peels immediately upon removing from the oven, so the tops are still soft. 

Buffalo Chicken Dip

I am already super insecure about this recipe so I'll go ahead and say first thing - processed ingredients alert!! Geee! ::hides in shame::

But it's so good, so here you go. Sigh. This is the first time I've ever uploaded a recipe with anything like vegan sour cream, but I think it is absolutely worth it, because we are all allowed cheats every once in a while, right? My friend Katherine says, "There are never absolutes."

This is a great dish to bring to a party or event where there will be lots of non-vegan-types around. It's super bad for you and super delicious. I took it to three holiday parties this year, and it got rave reviews by herbivores and omni's alike.

If you're still not convinced, I suggest you take a minute to imagine how floored your friends will be when you arrive at their Christmas party dressed as Sexy Penguin, holding a bowl of vegan buffalo chicken dip and a six-pack of Fat Tire. YOU WILL BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL. Trust me.

So here's what you'll need: (cringe)

2 T coconut oil
2 T minced garlic
1/4 C Earth Balance
1 Not Chick'n bouillon cube
1/2 C Tofutti cream cheese
1 C Tofutti sour cream
1/2 C soy creamer
1 C soy milk
1 bottle Franks Red Hot sauce or vegan buffalo sauce (many have butter so pay attention!)
1/4 C flour
2 tsp paprika
1 tsp black pepper

1 package of firm tofu, drained and pressed
1 C chopped walnuts


Preparation here is easy: Heat the coconut oil over medium-low heat until melted, then add garlic. Then, continue adding each ingredient one at a time, until melted and mixed well. Once you add the paprika, pulse the walnuts in a food processor until fine, almost powdery. Then, add the tofu to the processor and pulse until chunky. Add this mixture to the pot of sauce and cook another 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Garnish with celery, as if by some ridiculous logic that small amount of vegetable will somehow redeem anything you're doing today.

Orange Ginger Cookies with Fondant Weave

I'm sitting here at my desk, debating whether or not to indulge in a rant about the irony of patting myself on the back for making beautiful cookies for my younger brother's graduation, when I have yet to figure out when I am going to march down to that English office at WKU and say "HEY GUYS can I have a degree now please?" I hear that's all you have to do.

Well anyhow. My baby brother graduated from University of Tennessee this weekend and I am proud of him. If you ever hear someone scoff or roll their eyes and say something about how college these days is a joke and degrees are a dime a dozen, sock them in the balls and ask them how many books they've read. Because it's probably not many. Probably.

Anyhow, because I am sap for being festive, here we are. It's probably a good idea to prepare the fondant first, as that will take much more time than anything. But first, a quick rant on fondant.

Fondant is traditionally made with gelatin, which is obviously not vegan. Most vegan fondant recipes I've seen involve agar agar powder, glycerin or other silly (though surely helpful) ingredients. But I am mostly poor and lazy so this recipe will work in a pinch. It may be more greasy than others, but you can adjust your roll by adding more sugar if need be.

Fondant rant part II: this crap ain't easy, guys. Or not to me, at least. You need a good space, a clean surface and a lot of patience to decorate cookies or pastries so make sure to consider the outcome of your hard work. Sometimes you'll take these to a party where the drunk attendees will never remember your treats. Sometimes your co-workers will never see your cookies on the break table. So make sure to photograph them so that all your time and patience can at least launch you into Instafame.

Here's what you'll need:

1/4 C light corn syrup
1/4 C non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 C confectioner's sugar

You may need to adjust these as you go, so keep the sugar handy. So melt the shortening and mix with corn syrup, then add each other ingredient one at a time. When it's time to add the sugar, do so in small amounts, stirring until you have a stuff dough. At this point, you may work on it with your hands. Here's the point where you might get frustrated, even hopeless. Don't fret, just keep adding sugar! The thing I like to keep in mind when baking (because I am NOT a talented baker by any means), is that most people (particularly 22-year-old fraternity boys) really have limited knowledge as to the finer points of baking. So whatever you do, it's going to look impressive to SOMEONE. Surely. Right?

So. Roll it out, flatten it on your counter, and prepare to cut into strips, bowls, balls, arrows, hearts, bathing-suit-area body parts, mustaches, or what have you.

Let's get onto the cookies! These are pretty easy peasy, particularly after working with fondant. Gather yo shit:

2 C all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 C raw sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup soy milk
1/2 C molasses
1/4 C canola oil

Preheat your oven to 350. Sift together your dry ingredients minus the sugar. In a separate bowl, mix together your wet ingredients and the sugar. Combine the two, and stir until mixed. When your dough is ready, roll into balls of your liking (balls of your liking!) and bake on a lightly greased cookie sheet for 12 minutes. Let cool before you decorate them, you dummy!

And go finish that degree!

Sweet and Spicy Chicken and Waffles

Sometimes, a girl's just gotta eat some chicken and waffles, is what I always say. This meal might just be the tastiest thing I've ever made, but it also might be the biggest cop-out of a recipe I've ever posted on here. The chicken cutlets are based largely on Isa Chandra's chickpea cutlet recipe, which can be found at the always fabulous Post Punk Kitchen blog. But the tweaks I have made involve relatively processed ingredients, so indulge at your own risk.

These suckers don't take a lot of time but they are somewhat ingredient intensive. I don't know about you guys but when I read "prep time: 15 minutes," that generally means "searching for not-often-used-spices, spilling them on the floor, looking through the fridge and get distracted by cleaning out whatever the smell is time: 35 minutes." So gather your things first, stay focused, and remember: chicken and waffles. We can do this.

Here's what you'll need for the chicken (again, largely ganked from the PPK):

1 (16oz) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/4 C olive oil
1 C vital wheat gluten
1 C breadcrumbs
1 Not Chicken bouillon cube dissolved in 1/2 C water (I used Edward on Sons, because sometimes they are on sale, you know, and they're not laced with anything horrific or scary)
1/4 C soy sauce
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp rubbed sage

Pulse chickpeas in a food processor (or mash them with a fork.. or your fingers... or your mind?) then transfer to a mixing bowl. Add everything else and kneed together with your hands. Once they get stretchy and stringy, cut the dough in half, then in half again, then in half again, until you are satisfied with the size of your cutlets.

Fry each of these in a skillet in a small amount of olive oil for just a few minutes, then set aside to cool.

Once completely cooled, it's time to bread and fry! Here's what you'll need:

2 C soy milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
breading - this can be flour and your choice of spices, but I just unapoligetically used Kentucky Colonel
non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening

First, curdle your soy milk with the apple cider vinegar until completely mixed, and let sit for a minute. Once curdled, dip each cutlet (one at a time, slow down!) into the milk, let drip, then bread in the flour or other breading you've chosen. Set aside and heat up enough shortening in a cast iron skillet to cover the bottom, and about, oh, I don't know, 1/3 an inch of the side of the skillet.

So fry those suckers for about 5 minutes on each side, or until golden brown.

The waffle recipe is indeed my own, and is gluten free, but that's for another day. If you need to, I mean while you're at it and everything, go ahead and slap these guys on top of some store-bought frozen waffles. You really aren't losing much of yourself in this case. I mean store-bought frozen waffles are bomb. Really.

But the kale on bottom is crucial - saute some kale in a little olive oil for a few minutes, then add chili garlic sauce and continue cooking for another minute or too.

Also the syrup here - which is clutch! - was maple syrup mixed with whole pomegranate arils. This MAKES the dish, don't leave it out!

And needless to say, this dish goes perfectly with a midday PBR and a few hours of My Best Friend's Wedding.

Regarding Leftovers: Jo Ann Surprise

It feels silly to dedicate an entire post to what I threw together this morning. BUT, mostly this is just to say, it's nice sometimes to get creative with your leftovers. Every once in a while, when I get bored with eating heated-up tupperware meals, I like to declare it Jo Ann Surprise Night. What, might you wonder, is Jo Ann Surprise? Glad you asked. 

Those close to me in my wild oats years may remember Jo Ann surprise from drunken nights of revelry, in which I'd throw whatever I had in the fridge into a hot skillet, add some Louisiana hot sauce and feed whatever mass of collegiate bohemians happened to be wandering into my living room at the time. Most often, these dishes came out resembling some sort of mac n' cheese. Most of the time, the "secret ingredient" was mustard powder.

Jo Ann, if you're wondering, is my grandmother's name. Aside from being one of the most courageous and classy ladies alive, she's also a phenomenal, quintessentially Southern cook. And thus she is inescapably notorious for cooking five times as much food as we need. When we gather for holiday meals at her home in Tennessee, she always sends us home with a cooler of ziplock bags filled with green beans, casseroles, even iceberg salads.

As I've grown older, I've tried to step-up my Jo Ann Surprise game. Of course, I've found it easier, in general, to prepare meals when I'm not inebriated, barefoot, trying to keep hoards of college students from running nekkid into the streets of Bowling Green -- so JAS dishes these days take only a few more steps, and a little more concentration. Nonetheless, the philosophy behind the Surprise remains the same - follow your heart, take risks, and be satisfied with less than perfection. Always.

So today is, at the very least, an interesting mix of things. Here's a list of tupperware'd items I had sitting in my fridge:

strawberry cupcake batter
purple cabbage
spinach
marinated mushrooms
potato hash
sweet potato pancake batter

So obviously, the natural course of action here is to mix the two batters, form sweet-and-savory hotcakes of sorts, and pile on the potato hash, mushrooms and chopped leafy veggies. Voila! Sweet, savory, bitter, spicy. A veritable circus. But I suppose that's what the tequila sunrise is for. I have only mostly grown up since the old days of Jo Ann Surprise.

Thanksgiving Pizza

Ok, fine. It’s no longer week of Thankscooking. But I just now got around to uploading the belle of the ball this year, due in part to all the prep work that went into this dish. That, with all the traveling, may have stalled the imminent arrival of THANKSGIVING MEGA PIZZA.

That’s right, ladies. I give you Thanksgiving mega pizza. Rather than post a full recipe, I’ll just let you figure this one out on your own if you’re man enough. It was truly delicious and I am still rationing myself leftovers daily. Here’s what we have going on in this Thanksgiving Mega Pizza:

pizza dough from scratch (Isa’s recipe, found here)
orange pomegranate cranberry sauce - recipe found here
garlicky kale - chopped kale tossed in olive oil and garlic
thinly sliced sweet potatoes
rosemary mushroom seitan - recipe found here
roasted brocooli

Oh, yes ma’am. Happy Thanksgiving to me.

Now let the Christmas cooking begin!

Rosemary Mushroom Seitan Loaf

This is one of those will-not-be-so-interesting-because-my-computer-just-crashed-and-this-is-my-second-time-writing-this-and-I-am-frustrated-by-my-techonological-incompetency sort of posts. So I’ll skip the anecdote about my brother’s snarky comments regarding this rosemary mushroom seitan and move on.

If you’ve never made seitan before, it does take a certain about of practice to get the timing just right. If it comes out a little tough, make sure you don’t leave it sitting around forever if you’re planning on using it for, oh I don’t know, a MEGA THANKSGIVING PIZZA.

Here’s the spice mix you’ll need:
1 tsp salt
1.5 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp garlic powder
a dash of turmeric
1 tsp sage
1/2 tsp pepper
2 tsp rosemary

There’s your spice mix. Go ahead and mix it all together, then gather the rest of your ingredients:

2 tbl oliv oil
1/2 cup mushrooms, chopped
1 cup water
1 and 1/4 cup vital wheat gluten

Add the spice mix to the wheat gluten and mix well. Then stir in the mushrooms, and finally add the remaining wet ingredients. It won’t be long before your loaf takes shape, and that’s when you will remember that you’re out of aluminum foil. So get on your bicycle and ride to Kroger’s (pronounced KROD-jers), buy 75 feet of foil and come back home. Your loaf has been waiting patiently to be wrapped in literally hundreds of layers of foil.

Ok, hundreds of layers are not necessary. But you’ll definitely need copious amounts of foil here. Wrap that shit up like a Tootsie Roll. Including the part where you twist the sides. Literally like a Tootsie Roll. Like a giant vegan rosemary mushroom Tootsie Roll.

Now it’s time to steam. Steam your Tootsie Roll for 50 minutes. Then, bake at 350 for a half hour. Slice and serve cold on a sammich, or grill, or throw at your friends, or put on a MEGA THANKSGIVING PIZZA, or otherwise do anything with this loaf that you might do with meat.

Sweet Quinoa Salad

This week has involved a lot of prep work to Thankscooking, therefore I have become even more lazy at lunch. This is my favorite go-to quick lunch, when I am busy, and on-the-go, and urban, and working, and…. ok it’s mostly for when I don’t feel like cooking and it goes well with Sports Center.

Health benefits of quinoa aside, this salad is bomb just for its sweet/earthy balance. The carrots and cranberries balance out the quinoa. It’s delish, and it will keep for about a week in the fridge.

All you do is mix these guys together (duh):

2 cups cooked quinoa
1/2 cup steamed edamame, shelled
1/2 cup chopped almonds
1/2 cup shredded carrots (I usually use a vegetable peeler to get really thin slices)
1/2 cup dried cranberries

Of course, adjust the measurements as you see fit. Easy peasy!

Glazed Carrot Pizza with Cauliflower Punk Sauce

I could count on one hand the things I love more than cooking for touring punk bands. Actually, while I'm at it, I might as well.

thumb: my family
index: marching bands
middle: Pho Hoa Binh lunch buffet
ring: talking to Ira Glass on the telephone

See, and I still have the pinky left over!

My friend Cody, who often books house shows in this beautiful, zero-venue town, decided that this last house show would be pizza party themed. Really, pizza and punk rock, is there a better combination? So I brought this little ditty to the show, which was devoured quickly, alongside Domino's.

As always, I made the dough using Isa's recipe, which I have referenced here and here. The real belle of the ball here is the cauliflower punk sauce, which is savory and earthy and perfect next to the glazed carrots.

First prepare your crust. Then, in a food processor, pulse

1 1/2 cup chopped cauliflower
1 T minced garlic

Once finely ground, slowly add

1/2 C almond milk
1 tsp salt
1 T nutritional yeast

Leave in the processor until you're ready to use. Meanwhile, gather the rest of your sauce ingredients:

1/2 C minced onion
2 T olive oil
1/2 tsp marjoram
1/2 tsp basil
1/2 tsp oregano
1 tomato, diced
1/4 C water

Heat the onion in the olive oil and cook until translucent. Then add the spices and tomato, and cook on low another 2 minutes. Finally, add the water and bring heat to medium. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, then add the cauliflower mix from the food processor and reduce heat to simmer. Let simmer for 10 minutes.

Allow your sauce to cool before assembling your pizza. While it's chilling out, prepare your toppings:

1 C shredded carrots
1 T honey or agave, whatever you're into
1 C kale, or however your heart is feeling at the time. You might need more.

In a small pan over medium heat, saute the carrots in the honey/agave for about 5 minutes, then remove from heat. Meanwhile, chop your kale, and toss with a small amount of olive oil in a medium sized bowl - enough to coat all the kale with oil.

Once your toppings are prepared and your sauce is cooled, now's a good time to remember that you never preheated the oven. So go ahead and turn it up to 475 "or as hot as you dare," as Isa says, and go watch last week's episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Once your oven is ready and your pizza is assembled, pop that thing in for 20 minutes.

And go check out Child Bite, from Detroit. One of them is vegan! So... that a good reason for you to listen to their music, right?

Glazed Carrot Sweet Potato Casserole with Pomegranate Cranberry Sauce

Day 2 of Thankscooking Week! This dish is super simple and might be a good contribution to your holiday dinner if you are feeding a more traditional crowd. Make no mistake though - if your little brother openly opposes vegetables, you’re not winning any battles with this meal. There’s not necessarily a copious amount of sugar in either dish, so take caution.

Let’s start with the glazed carrot sweet potatoes. They are mostly what you might expect out of a sweet potato - peel, cube and boil for 20 minutes. However, while your taters are boiling, chop 2 carrots for each tater you’re using. I only made this dish for one (#lotsoffriends) and still had plenty of leftovers, so I’ll give you that recipe. Double, etc, as needed.

Glaze your carrots while waiting on the potatoes. And by that, I mean, saute on medium low in a little bit of olive oil for about 10 minutes. Then add 1/2 tablespoon maple syrup, and cook another 5 minutes.

When your taters are done, drain and mash them, add the carrots, and mix in 1.5 tbl brown sugar, 1 tlp earth balance, and 1 teaspoon cinnamon.

The orange pomegranate cranberry sauce shown here is pretty simple as well. Here’s what you should find somewhere in your house:

1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup water
1 tbl honey (or agave syrup if you’re not into honey)
1.5 cups whole cranberries
1 tbl orange marmalade
1/2 cup pomegranate arils

Heat the sugar, water and honey over medium-low heat until everything is dissolved. Add the cranberries and cook about 5 minutes, or until the skins pop. Don’t be alarmed - cranberries have no sensor for pain and cannot feel this process.

They’ll be fine! Promise. So stir in the orange marmalade and pomegranate, and let chill before serving. 

Bailey's Irish Cream

This is what I do when I am not in class: make vegan bailey’s.

This recipe is such a breeze. Whisk together in a saucepan the following ingredients: 1 can coconut milk, 1c almond milk, 1 capful of vanilla extract, 1tbl cocoa powder, 2tbl brown sugar, 1tbl white sugar, and 1/2c coffee brewed double strength. Whisk until all ingredients are melted/cool with each other, then stick in the fridge to chill.

Once cooled, spike with Irish whiskey (all I had on hand was bourbon) and rum (I used spiced rum and can definitely taste the difference).

A Note on Leftovers, Laziness, Presentation and Palpability

This is just to say: I get super excited about cooking new dishes. I get super excited about chopping fresh vegetables, creating recipes, heating up the kitchen (ow ow?) and blah blah etc. etc. You know? What’s more fun than cooking a new dish?

That said - what’s LESS fun than being frugal and being diligent with your leftovers? Not much. Lately I’ve been trying to remedy this in a number of ways - enter the phyllo dough cups! They’re $1.80 at Krogers (pronounced KROD-jurz) for a pack of 12, and they make leftovers a breeze. Just bake the shells at 350 for 5 minutes, then fill with your cold leftovers. Done. Hardly any dishes, visually impressive to all those cute boys who find housewifery attractive.

Stay tuned for a longer rant on gender roles and modern feminism. 

The Best Oatmeal Bake EVER

I have run through a few different phrases in my head to describe just how good this chocolate banana oatmeal bake is. Screw it, here’s a slew of them:

I made this for breakfast and my mouth is still watering just looking at it.

I literally ate this alone, watching Sports Center, and was saying to myself, outloud, “This is the best thing I’ve ever created” the whole time.

I should not have eaten the whole thing. But I did. And I don’t regret it.

It is incredible right out of the oven, but I still enjoyed each bite of it when it became cold.

And etc. etc. etc.

Oh - another disclaimer. This is not a typical healthy breakfast. You’re going to need to run this one off. Or spend all day sitting on the couch, updating your blog and watching ESPN. Either way.

First, preheat your oven to 350 and gather your ingredients:

1 and 1/4 cup oats (really - I don’t care what kind you use. Many folks will claim you need quick-cooking, but I prefer the hearty texture of old-fashioned)
1 tbl brown sugar
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinncamon
1 tbl miniature dark chocolate chips
1/4 cup chopped nuts (I used almonds and walnuts)
a half of a banana
2 tbl Earth Balance, melted

Mix together all your dry ingredients (or, everything but the Earth Balance and banana). In a separate bowl, mash up the banana with a fork or with your fingers. Add to the melted Earth Balance, and whisk together well. Add to the dry ingredients. Mix well, and pour into an oven-safe serving bowl.

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

While your oatmeal is baking, throw together a sauce to go on top. Here’s what I used:

2 tbl chocolate sauce (it’s not hard to make this stuff from scratch, I just cheated and had some left over from my ice cream indulgence last night. I used a bourbon chocolate sauce and it was divine.)
1 tbl natural peanut butter
2 tsp sugar
1-2 tbl hot water

You’re more than welcome to heat this in a saucepan over low heat, but since we already admitted to using store-bought chocolate sauce, hell, why not just mix with hot water until it becomes cohesive. Your oatmeal bake will be warm enough.

When it comes out of the oven, try not to pee your pants. Pour the chocolate peanut butter sauce over your oatmeal bake until just barely covered. Holy hell. There are not words. It’s so good. You guys. 

Breakfast Pomegranate Quinoa Pile

Tis the season for pomegranates! 

Quinoa is one of my favorite go-to bases for quick lunches. It’s nice to make a large batch on a Sunday and use it throughout the week. It’s high in protein and tastes like the ground, which I dig, so game on.

This particular plating is simple: slices of plums, stack of cooked quinoa (cold), raspberries and pomegranates arils.

Quinoa Stuffed Acorn Squash

In autumn, I could eat squash like ice cream.

Wait, that’s false. Squash is not like ice cream. It’s squash. Acorn squash, actually, is a winter squash, closely related to zucchini and yellow crookneck squash (RIGHT?!). But it is, indeed, buttery and delicious on its own.

Let me also preface this recipe by mentioning that I made this curried kale and quinoa dish to enjoy while watching the MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES kick some Oklahoma City ass this past week. That’s right ladies. My old boys from the dirty south are tops in the league right now, and Memphians are geeking out like their 3rd-chair-trombone boyfriend just won homecoming king. “FINALLY THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS!”

So first preheat your oven to 350. Then work on your curry. Here’s what you’ll need:

1 acorn squash
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 an onion, chopped
1 tsp green curry paste
1 tsp curry powder
1/2 can coconut milk
1 cup chopped kale (or however much your body needs, depending upon your level of hangover. I mean what.)
1 cup cooked quinoa
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 tsp cumin
sriracha to taste (we’ll call this one “optional” though we know it’s not really “optional”)

Begin by sauteing the onions and garlic in olive oil over medium heat until translucent, about 3 minutes.

OH, but first you need to stick your squash in the oven, once its preheated. Slice the top off first, and save it for a rainy day. Scoop out any stringy parts or seeds in the cavity and stick that sucker in. If you are scared of squash, it being so vegetable-y and all, feel free to coat the inside with a thin layer of Earth Balance. But this really shouldn’t be necessary. Remember: ice cream.

Back to the curry. Once the onions/garlic are ready, add the spices - the paste and the curry powder, along with the cumin. Cook for a minute or so, until the paste gets bubbly. Add the chopped kale and cook 5 minutes. Finally, add the coconut milk and let simmer for 10 minutes, covered.

Once your squash is ready (it should roast for about 20 minutes total), remove it from the oven and scoop out a copious amount of the flesh, in order to fashion a bowl. Use this squash for a topping to your curry (or eat it NOW). Fill your bowl with the quinoa curry, dot with sriracha, and watch your homeboy Tony Allen do what he do.

Check here for daily updates on the Grizz - Three Shades of Blue is one of my favorite Grizzlies blogs!

Freedom Toast

I usually work at 5 am so making (a substantial) breakfast is really a treat for me. Merry Christmas to ME!

I’ve been tinkering with a French Freedom toast recipe for a few weeks, off and on. I could never quite get it right, mostly because I wanted to develop this one without TOO much outside influence. Actually, secretly, the reason why only one slice of bread is pictured here is because I only had one slice left, from all my previous failed attempts. On my way to culinary fame for sure!

The bread is really what makes a good Freedom toast. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve gotten from Isa is that you really need to use a thick, stale bread. A good plan is to drink a few margaritas (no more than 3, if they’re strong — otherwise you’ll foil your whole operation), watch My Best Friend’s Wedding, and when you’re about to go to bed and you get the late-night, slightly-drunk munchies, break out that French baguette from your pantry. Slather a generous heap of Earth Balance on the end, and gnaw on that sucker for a few minutes. Make sure to leave it sitting out on the counter (you are drunk, after all) and pass out on the couch. When you wake up in the morning to the sound of the My Best Friend’s Wedding menu music (a reggae version of “I Saw a Little Prayer for You,” in case you were wondering) playing on loop, rest assured that you are about to enjoy a feast of queens that even Julia Roberts’ hairstylist could not have planned better.

Or whatever method floats your boat. This time, I used up the last of my pumpkin spice bread from earlier this week, so it was already getting nice and seasoned. So to speak.

In case you have never prepared Freedom toast, here’s the basic, traditional method: slather slices of thick bread in some sort of raw egg mixture, fry those suckers and sprinkle powdered sugar on top. But considering that it is 2012, and we can certainly come up with more innovative, animal-free solutions, try this batter instead. Here’s what you’ll need:

1/4 cup melted Earth Balance (OH! This is probably a good time to mention that this recipe is decidedly not good for you. Ok. Glad we talked about this.)
3/4 cup of almond milk (or your preferred non-dairy milk)
1/4 cup coconut flour (coconut flour is sort of a fancy ingredient and I only had some on hand because my roommate eats on a paleo diet. And since I hate elitism I suppose it’s also fine to use all-purpose flour here too. If you do, add 1 tsp of sugar to your mix)
1 tbl cornstarch

Simple as pie - mix the dry ingredients first. Add the melted Earth Balance, then slowly mix in the almond milk until your batter is thick but still a little bit runny. Heat up your (non-stick) skillet, throw in some Earth Balance (you ARE nursing a hangover, after all), and soak your slices in the batter while your EB starts to heat up. When it gets a little sizzly, throw those suckers in your frying pan, and fry on each side for about 4 minutes a piece, or until golden brown.

Sprinkle with powdered sugar and cinnamon, drizzle in maple syrup. Serve with fresh coffee and plop yourself on the couch for a victory lap of My Best Friend’s Wedding. The menu is still looping that reggae song, after all.

Quinoa Stuffed Avocado

I will make any excuse to include avocados to my cooking. In this dish, however, they are the star of the show. Rejoice!

To make the filling: cook quinoa with veggie broth. Sauté chopped mushrooms in olive oil for 5 minutes. Add chopped spinach and grated carrot, and cook another 2 minutes. Add quinoa and mix all together. Voila!

To prepare the avocado, half the avo and scoop out a hefty dent (you can then use this flesh to… I don’t know, snack on? What else would you do with perfectly ripe avocado right in front of you?!). Stuff with quinoa filling, top with sriracha and broil for 5 minutes.

Roasted Red Pepper and Carrot Soup

It’s fall. And red peppers were cheap at the farmer’s market this week. Ergo! Roasted red pepper and carrot soup. Goes well with the sweet potato cornbread shown below. If you’re into that sort of thing. And you are, right? 

First of all. Do yourself a favor and get these peppers local, if you can. They’re like, hella expensive at the store ($1.90 a pop at Krogers [pronounced Krod-jers]), and I got all 4 of these peppers at the Community Farmer’s Market for 2 bucks. Farmer’s market elitism my ear, right?

Other stuffs you’ll need:

4 red bell peppers (ok folks, we’ve been over this already)
2 large carrots, minced finely in your food processor.
half a small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 cups almond milk
1 can whole tomatoes, peeled
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tbl oregano

You’ll need your food processor plenty for this recipe, so don’t be lazy about cleaning dishes as you go. Seriously. Those carrots are lethal orange.

First, roast your bell peppers. Cut them in slices and toss them in olive oil. Sprinkle with a little sea salt and roast under your broiler for 5 minutes.

While those are cooling, heat some olive oil on medium in a large pot. Add the garlic and chopped onion and C.U.T. (see topless lasagna post below), about 3 minutes. Add the minced carrot and cook for 10 minutes.

While the carrots, onion and garlic are cooking, run your red peppers and tomatoes in a food processor until liquidy. Add this mixture, along with your milk and spices, to the pot. Cover and cook on low for 20 minutes.

The only other anecdotal note I have on this recipe is that it suits one well if preparing for a hangover. Sits in the tummy well. Remember: beer before liquor, makes a man sicker.

Sweet Potato Cornbread

Gracious me, do I love cornbread. I made this sweet potato cornbread to pair with my roasted red pepper soup. It’s easy, it’s divine, it’s autumn in a skillet.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Dry ingredients
2/3 cup flour
1 and 1/4 cup cornmeal
2 tbl sugar
1 tbl baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tbl brown sugar

wet ingredients
1 cup almond milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
egg replacer equal to 1 egg
2 tbl shortening, heated to liquid

oh and also
1 sweet potato, cubed

First, bring water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Reduce to medium heat and boil your sweet potatoes about 20 minutes, or under tender enough to be mashed. Then…. of course, drain and mash your taters. Set aside. 

(Oh and of course, preheat your oven to 400.)

In a large bowl, whisk together your dry ingredients. In a separate bowl (hope you love doing dishes), curdle your milk with the apple cider vinegar. Whisk till mixed and let sit a few minutes. Then add the remaining wet ingredients. Once mixed, add the wet mixture to your dry ingredients. Finally, add the mashed sweet potato. 

Pour into a cast iron skillet and bake at 400 for 20 minutes.

Orange Glazed Tempeh Pizza with Roasted Red Peppers

As time goes on I am getting less intimidated by making pizza from scratch. A year ago, it was an endeavor that required a few days planning. But now they’re more like, I don’t know, I wouldn’t say a walk in the park, more like a critical essay on the ecological elements at play in an early Shakespearean comedy.

This pizza was a labor of love, but I threw it together in a few hours, on the occasion of phone banking with non-partisan statewide social justice grassroots organizationKentuckians for the Commonwealth, of which I am proud to be a member. 

Here’s what goes into this pie (i.e. - All the steps you’ll need to prepare, and probably in this order):

pizza dough
as mentioned below, check the links for Isa’a recipe

roasted red peppers
1 red bell pepper
1/2 tbl olive oil
sprinkle of sea salt

orange glazed tempeh
1/2 a package of tempeh
1/4 cup orange marmalade
1/4 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tbl balsamic vinegar
1 tbl coconut milk

basil cashew cream sauce
2/3 cup raw cashews
1/2 cup coconut milk
15 leaves of basil, chopped
1 cup chopped spinach
1 tbl minced garlic
1/4 tsp salt

toppings
handful of chopped mushrooms
1/2 a package of Daiya mozzarella shreds

Let’s start with the dough. I have, at times, indulged myself in undertaking Vegan Dad’s dough recipe to make a pizza. But I have found that Isa’s dough is a lot easier to digest (mentally I mean). If you don’t own Vegan With a Vengeance, I suggest getting right with the Lord and putting it on your Christmas list. It is a must.

The dough I use can be found in her book. Also, I’m sure it’s all over the internet by now, so look here or here or here for versions of it. She is a goddess.

First, prepare your dough.

Next, roast your red peppers. I used probably 1 full red bell pepper for this pizza. Cut them into slices, toss them in olive oil, sprinkle a little sea salt on top and roast them under the broiler for 5 minutes.

Next, start working on your tempeh. It’s best for the slices to soak for a bit before tossing them on your pizza, so you can do this while the peppers or roasting, or while the oven is preheating for the pizza. Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl. Cut tempeh into thin slices, then toss in your marmalade mixture. Let sit until you’re ready to top your pizza.

Once your peppers are done roasting, turn off the broiler and preheat your oven to 500. This crap needs to get hot. It’s time to prepare your sauce.

In a food processor, chop the raw cashews until fine, almost powdery. Add the basil, spinach, salt and garlic, and little bit of the coconut milk. Process until mixed. Add the rest of the coconut milk slowly, processing until the green in your sauce is rather uniform.

As soon as the oven is preheated, dress your pizza and stick her in. I’ve read countless blogs that preach about the necessity of a baking stone or what have you when baking a pizza, but listen - I am poor, so I used a cookie sheet. Ergo, my pizzas will always be rectangular. And they still taste fine.

So bake for — gosh this is the part where I forget how I made this and so I just make something up — 20 minutes? Enjoy with an amber ale!