Egg Salad Egg Salad and VEGAN MOFO LIKE A CHAMP

My relationship with my younger brother is based largely on love and absurdity and obscure inside jokes from 20 years ago. Part of what keeps us in stitches when we're around each other is the uncomical nature of a lot of our jokes. He'll say something like, "Meredith, that man over there... is wearing a TIE!" and look at me with a pointed sense of doom. It sort of destroys me.

So one time he replied to a text message with just the words "egg salad."

"Tyler go home you're drunk."

"No Mere say it out loud egg salad."

Eeeeeeeeeegggggggg sa-lad.

It has stuck with me ever since, so today I give you lunch:

Truly, it's not a traditional egg salad, but it IS a salad with a QUOTE fried egg patty QUOTE on it. I posted the details about my new-found love of fried egg patties in a previous post about The Egg McMuffin, but as Vegan Mofo marches on valiantly into the abyss, I confess I have no apologies about recycling recent recipes. 

A quick refresher on the fried egg bit, for those of you who don't follow my every update on various forms of social media.... Here's what you'll need: 

extra firm tofu, well-pressed and drained, cut into thin slices

1/2 Cup soy creamer

1/2 Tbl turmeric

salt and pepper to taste

1/4 Cup nutritional yeast flakes

Whisk all these (but the tofu - obvi) together in a small bowl, then dip the tofu slices into the batter. Fry these over medium-high heat in a skillet for about 5 minutes, then flip and fry another 5.

Also included in Egg Salad Egg Salad:

romaine

chopped pistachios

avocado

agave mustard dressing

shelled edamame

Awwwwwwwww yeah.

Northwest Tacos and Doing Really Great at VEGAN MOFO

Doing really great at VEGAN MOFO guys!!!!!! Two posts in 5 days means I WIN.

No lie, I've been insanely busy with work and cooking and meal planning and this little thing called training for a marathon. I'm in the thick of it right now and some days I run for like, hours, and it's stupid. Really, don't ever run a marathon.

Tonight was Thursday which means hoards of drunk 20-somethings wandering in and around my home, street, square and alley and really all over the place. But we will pretend Thursday means taco time.

Quick note about Tex Mex: growing up in the American South, I became accustomed to what I knew as Mexican Food - white cheese enchiladas covered in a reddish brown sauce, white cheese dip, watery salsa and free chips, orange rice and pinto beans. Lime margaritas with salt on the rim. On your birthday it's all about the sombrero and lots of fanfare, free fried ice cream and a locally composed Spanish happy birthday sung by half a dozen servers.

It's my go-to hangover food. So of course you can imagine how appalled I was when, as a new resident of Portland, Oregon, I thought I was going to get Mexican food and was met with THIS:

"AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD."

What is this???? Where is the cheese? What's with the fresh herbs? And all the colors?

Over time I opened up to the idea of "real" Mexican food, I guess, and at least it gave me some pretty pretentious fodder in foodie circles. "Yeah, aren't you so mad that Bowling Green doesn't have any authentic Mexican places? Even the ones across the tracks don't serve ceviche." 

I guess I miss it now. Because when taco night rolls around, all I want is crunchy veggies and fresh herbs. Here's what I whipped up for dinner. The red cabbage and sweet taters make it quintessentially PACNW.

Northwest Tacos

corn tortillas
avocado
1 Cup brown rice
1/2 Tbl taco seasoning
1 sweet potato
2 Tbl vegetable oil
salt and pepper to taste
1 Cup red cabbage
2 Tbl Braggs amino acid
1 Tbl brown sugar
1 Tbl chili garlic sauce
2 Tbl hot water
1 Cup cold water
a few sprigs of fresh cilantro
1/2 Cup vegan cream
1 tsp black pepper
2 Tbl almond milk
1 tsp dill

The first step is to chop and marinate your red cabbage. Of course, this is best done 1-2 hours before Taco Time, but you can fudge it with 45 minutes. That's how long it takes me to find and measure out and mix my taco seasoning anyway, let's be honest.

Slice the red cabbage into thin strips, sort of like the way you are thinking. There is no other way to "slice" red cabbage other than the way that is currently in your mind's eye.

In a medium sized bowl, whisk together your Braggs, brown sugar and chili garlic sauce. Add that hot water to melt the sugar, then stir in the remaining water. Toss in your cabbage, mix thoroughly and place in the fridge until you're ready to engage Taco Time.

The second step is to prepare your tortillas. For this dish, I created taco bowls using the back of a muffin tin, as seen on basically every life hack blog ever. This works well, provided you only want to make 3 taco bowls, as they tend to overlap and get wonky. No need to use cooking spray here, just fold your tortillas in the crevices, and bake at 400 for about 10-15 minutes, or until crispy golden brown.

Next, get your rice going. I always forget this step, which sucks because it ends up being a 15 minutes mistake. Good thing I am here to remind you!

Next, slice your sweet potatoes in thin strips, like thick french fries. Using a cast iron skillet, heat the vegetable oil over medium high heat. As always, it's good to use a test piece with this one. Break off a small piece of sweet potato and toss in the oil to test its heat. Once the piece starts to fry, toss the rest in. Fry until golden brown (about 5-7 minutes). Then lay them to dry on paper towels. Immediately salt and pepper to taste.

Once your taters are finished, discard your oil (I strain and save mine for later use) and dump the rice into that same cast iron. Add your taco seasoning* and stir fry for about 5-7 minutes.

While everything is finishing, crack open your second PBR and whisk together your sour cream topping. This piece is crucial for ultimate Portland-ness, provided you have access to a squirt bottle. These are like a buck and a half and will turn any amateur home cook into a veritable culinary Mick Jagger. People will literally be impressed with your cooking simply because of a $1.65 investment. It's my secret weapon.

Whisk together the sour cream, pepper, almond milk and dill. Toss that into your squirt bottle for maximum squiggly. 

Build it: taco shell, rice, cabbage, taters. Top with sliced avocado. Garnish with fresh cilantro. I served mine with cheesy refried beans and DUH a Pabst. Because.

*Soon I'll post my seasoning recipe. I DISlike purchasing seasoning packets from the store, because most of them are full of preservatives and MSG. For what its worth, the only vegan taco seasoning without MSG in Bowling Green is Ortega's seasoning.

Easy Avocado Bruschetta

I love this dish! It is a perfect quick, elegant appetizer if you are ever entertaining. I don't get to have many dinner parties, so I made sure to make this particular one super special. This was my first course - super easy to prepare while you're working on your main dish. And who can resist avocado?

Here's what you need:

1/2 loaf french-style bread
1 avocado, diced
1/2 tomato, sliced
Roughly 15 leaves fresh basil, chopped
2 Tbl olive oil;

Preheat your oven to 350. Slice french bread diagonally, so that the surface area of the dough is a few inches. Brush with olive oil and bake on a cookie sheet for 10 minutes.

While your bread is toasting, toss together the avocado, tomato, basil and olive oil in a medium-sized bowl.

When your bread is finished, spoon the tomato mixture onto the bread slices. Serve with a fancy pants cocktail while you're frantically putting together your main dish!

Avotatchos!

When I lived in the Northwest, I quickly learned that tatchos were the standard Portland bar food when you're 4 drinks in, despite them never appearing on any real  menu ever. I had never heard of putting tater tots in your nachos before, because why fix something that ain't broken? But listen. This is the best idea you will make the entire year of the snake (happy holidays, by the by).

So I've had a hankering for some tatchos ever since I've moved back to Kentucky - where literally no one has ever had the thought to cover tater tots in cheese. Also every time I drink more than 2 beers, I think it might be a good idea to fry up some tots and slather them with fixins. I was going to throw some together for the Super Duper Bowl, but I took a nap instead and also my friends are too hip to own TVs. So I finally said ENOUGH and made some tonight.

These are made with blue corn tortilla chips, diced avocado, sauteed mushrooms, mango salsa, tempeh crumbles, Isa's cheese sauce from Veganomicon, sriracha, Tofutti sour cream and ---- wait.... AVOTOTS.

What's an avotot? It's a tater tot made with potatoes AND avocado. Inspired by my compulsion to throw avocado into whatever I damn well please. Here's how you make them:

3 russet potatoes
2 tsp seasoned salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 avocado
3 T flour
1/2 T chili garlic sauce

Boil the potatoes until easily pierced with a fork. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, mash up an avocado with the seasonings and chili garlic sauce. When the taters are done cooking, drain them, then grate them into the avocado bowl while they're still hot. Mix well, then add the flour.

In a small skillet, heat about 1/4 an inch of vegetable oil on medium heat. When you can start to see the current in the oil, ball up your avotater mixture into precious little tot-balls. Toss them into the skillet and turn once golden on one side. I shouldn't have to explain how to fry stuff, right? We're adults, right?

That said, let those drain on a paper towel when they're finished.

Not pictured: amaretto rum cocktail that will surely help me pass this food baby.

Quinoa Stuffed Avocado

I will make any excuse to include avocados to my cooking. In this dish, however, they are the star of the show. Rejoice!

To make the filling: cook quinoa with veggie broth. Sauté chopped mushrooms in olive oil for 5 minutes. Add chopped spinach and grated carrot, and cook another 2 minutes. Add quinoa and mix all together. Voila!

To prepare the avocado, half the avo and scoop out a hefty dent (you can then use this flesh to… I don’t know, snack on? What else would you do with perfectly ripe avocado right in front of you?!). Stuff with quinoa filling, top with sriracha and broil for 5 minutes.

Spinach and Mushroom Enchiladas with Tomato Cashew Sauce

It was “OMG Mexican” night. Lots going on here but it’s pretty basic once you gather all the ingredients.

Enchilada filling: sauté onions in OO with garlic. Add mushrooms, along with taco seasoning (but I used cumin/paprika), and stir for 5 minutes. Add chopped spinach and cook on low another 10 minutes.

Sauce: In a food processor, prepare cashew cream: 1c raw cashews and 1c water. Heat in a saucepan with 1c tomato sauce. Simmer on low and season with hot sauce, cumin, nutritional yeast, and salt and pepper.

Stuff tortilla with filling, cover with sauce and bake at 350 for 15 minutes. And it goes without saying that everything is better when topped with avocado.

Southwest kale chips: separate kale leaves from stems and toss in a bowl with olive oil, nutritional yeast, salt/pepper and chili powder. Spread out on a pan and bake at 350 for 13 minutes.

Fresh corn salsa: combine fresh corn, diced red pepper, diced diced red onion, edamame, lime and lemon juice.

For best results, serve with a well-spiked tequila sunrise. Because you know.

TVP Tacos

Taco night. TVP tacos topped with sautéed kale and avocado.

TVP taco meat is mega easy. Scoop TVP into a skillet and pour in just enough water to almost cover it. Stir in spices (you could use taco seasoning obviously, but I used cumin, paprika and pepper). Cover and simmer until fully absorbed, about 20 minutes.

Sweet Corn Salsa

I could eat this early-autumn snack all day. Diced onion and red pepper with sweet corn, cilantro and lime juice. Perfect with avocado of course, and an Oktoberfest brew.