Mushroom Polenta: It's Ok To Be Sad

Two years ago I started this blog as a sort of forever-in-the-cloud recipe book for myself. I am always forgetting how to make things that I have made half a dozen times and I thought it would be nice to have a visual reference.

Eventually my blog shifted into a sort of Recipe Blog That Hopefully Other People Read. I've always felt I come at the vegan blogosphere from a rather contrarian angle -- I'm not, after all, an expo-going Lululemon model with extensive meal plans and Raw Till Four strategies in my arsenal. I'm not a fermenter. I'm not an efficient manager of time and I am not networked up with the folks at Beyond Meat or Daiya or any number of organic, sugar-free, nut-free, soy-free, gluten-free granola companies.

So what's the point, then? Where's my niche?

Aside from the fact that the real answer is It Doesn't Matter, my niche is feeling insecure. My forte is feeling scared and strong in the same heartbeat. I am a professional skeptic. I yearn for the chance to be honest about how None Of This Really Matters, and two seconds later to be excited about how No, Actually Everything Is Important.

Food is cool. I like to talk about it. Also I'm 26 and I'm not convinced anyone has ultimate answers about why blogging or vegetables or salary jobs or marriage can be Big and Important or not so important if you'd like. I have not graduated from college and I work at a coffee shop. I read books sometimes. I write in my journal. I sit in public places and stare out the window, wondering if I should say anything or nothing at all to anyone who may or may not be listening. And I guess today I've decided to try again to say things, even if they are just about food or privilege and just to myself.

Because it's ok to want things. Even if they are dumb things.

***

The other night my boyfriend and I were making polenta for dinner. We got the pre-cooked kind that comes in a TUBE in the extensive health food section of Kroger, which I have cooked with maybe thrice.

And, I don't know, sometimes you just have a hard week and one day you get anxious about Attending A Baseball Game and the next day you get depressed about how you didn't wake up early enough and the next day you get sad about how Everything Seems Terrible All Of The Time. One thing leads to another and somehow you end up crying over polenta.

It can happen to you.

And then you get sad and embarrassed about how you're crying over polenta. So you cry harder. And then you get even more sad and embarrassed because now you're crying harder. And eventually your loving partner will not find you ridiculous and irrational, but rather will hold you close and tell you it's ok.

Or maybe he or she won't. And maybe you don't have someone next to you be make you feel safe. All I'm saying is, eventually you'll find your way out of the cycle. But hopefully you won't even get to that point, because you'll have read Meredith's Polenta Tips and Tricks To Avoid An Emotional Catastrophe.

Brought to you by Chinua Achebe and Food Merchants Organic Polenta.

#1. The tube is a construct

Polenta is a traditional Italian starch that can take the place of pasta, rice or potatoes. It's super versatile, but also takes a while to cook. If you've ever made polenta from scratch (slow-simmering for close to an hour), you know that your end-shape will be nothing like the tube shape from the store. Don't get hung up on the discs. Sure, these are cute and retaining the shape can be effective if you're looking for a stackable sauce vessel of sorts, but keep in mind that if you choose to pan-fry, you're essentially cooking a corn-patty. It may not hold up. That's okay.

#2. Consider baking

Things Fall Apart. Just remember that if you choose instead to brush the discs with olive oil and toss them under the broiler, this frees up your evening a little bit. Now there's time to wash dishes or listen to Mike and Tom Eat Snacks or go get a grape soda. Instead of hovering over a hot pan, thinking about all the things you'd already screwed up and all the projects you've already abdicated today.

#3. Use a non-stick

If you choose to pan-fry, for the love of god use a non-stick pan. This is a must. This is where there Rapidly Escalating Fears of Adulthood are most swiftly nipped in the bud.

#4. Remember, olive oil is expensive

Now that you're definitely using a non-stick pan, it follows that you don't need too much oil. A tablespoon will do. The polenta will retain a good amount of whatever you're frying in, and that shit can get too heavy too quick. 

***

If you're interested, considering that this was once a recipe blog and will likely continue to mostly be a recipe blog, here's how I made the mushroom sauce for this dish:

This chunky sauce is a fairly quick and extremely flexible side dish that goes will with polenta, as well as pasta or rice. Here's what I used:

2 Cups chopped white mushrooms

1/2 Cup onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 tsp thyme

2 T Braggs liquid aminos

1 can coconut milk

In a saucepan, sauté the onion in a little bit of oil over medium heat for about 3 minutes. Then add half of the mushrooms, as well as the garlic, thyme and Braggs. Cook for about 7 minutes, or until the mushrooms are soft. Add the coconut milk and stir to incorporate. Pour the mixture into a food processor and set aside.

Satue the other half of the mushrooms in a little bit of oil, and cook until soft. Meanwhile, process the sauce mixture until pureed. Once the mushrooms are done cooking, add the sauce mixture back to the mushrooms and simmer, stirring occasionally, until ready to serve.

***

Anyways, it feels nice to be writing again. Even if it doesn't matter. It's good to do uncomfortable things.

King Ranch Casserole. Punk Ranch Casserole? Seven Ranch Casserole?

At some point last year I stumbled upon a photo of a vegan King Ranch Casserole on Instagram. Thinking that this concoction must somehow involve (magically vegan?) Cool Ranch Doritos, faux chicken, ranch dressing, cheese, Texan elbow greese, I screen shot that shit and put it on my list of Things to Create Someday.

As it turns out, the King Ranch Casserole does not, sadly, involve Doritos (though there is ample space for that modification should one choose), nor does it involve everyone's favorite MSG-induced addiction, ranch dressing. I did some research on this beast and stumbled upon the following description of the King Ranch Casserole from Texas Monthly magazine, which clearly I could not improve upon myself:

As far as anyone can tell, the recipe does not hail from the real King Ranch; how many yard birds have you seen in photos of that majestic spread? More likely it's a Junior League attempt at chilaquiles or a Texas take on chicken a la king. And though it is a member in good standing of the condensed-soup canon, those bland, oddly comforting Gerber-invoking turkey tetrazzinis and tuna noodles simply cannot compete with the exotic King Ranch, whose lively Tex-Mex flavors - spicy chile powders, zesty roasted red peppers, earthy mushrooms - coalesce in one sublime, admittedly unattractive package. So lively are these flavors supposed to be, in fact, that I propose you ditch the cans (except for the wholly respectable Ro-Tel), and make this from-scratch verson... One bite of this "steaming mass of melted mush" (as this magazine once referred to the KRC) should put you right back in mom's kitchen - and not in your high chair.

Pretty classic. So let's veganize it!

Vegetables to chop
1 onion
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
2 handfuls of mushrooms
4 green chiles, roasted and peeled (with stems and seeds discarded)

Spices
5 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper

Other stuff
tortillas - depending on the size of your dish, probably about 18
1 can Ro-Tel (this is the tomatoes and chiles that your mother uses to make cheese bomb Ro-Tel dip)
3/4 Cup flour
3 Cups vegetable stock
1/2 Cup soy creamer
1 package cheddar style Daiya cheese
1 package mozzerlla style Daiya cheese
1/2 Cup Earth Balance

(This is the part where I say first thing's first - preheat your oven to 350)

So first off you'll want to start with a celebratory cheap Texan beer. But since you can't get lone star in Kentucky, just crack open a PBR as you heat the butter in a large pan over medium heat. Turn the heat down to medium low and saute for about 5-7 minutes. Then add the spices and stir until the onions are evenly coated. Now add the flour - just a handful at a time - and stir continually. Once the flour doesn't look like flour, whisk in the stock, just 1 cup at a time. Then add the creamer and Ro-Tel and give it a good stir to make sure everything is incorporated. Remove from heat and set aside.

Now here's where we build the casserole. Some recipes will have you hold onto a little bit of stock so as to soak the tortillas, but I skipped this step and my casserole still turned out fine. I suppose though, now in hindsight, that this may have been a brilliant idea.

Anyhow, grab a casserole dish grease the bottom on the pan with butter. Now line the bottom with tortillas - make sure they overlap one another. Next, pour about half of the pepper-mushroom-flour sauce over the tortillas. Sprinkle half the mozzerella to cover. Add a second layer of tortillas, then more sauce, then the reamaining mozz. Finish with a final layer or tortillas and THE WHOLE DANG PACKAGE of cheddar Daiya.

Let this thing cook for about 45min-1hr. Until it's casserole ready. You know what that means. All brown and bubbly on top. Let it sit roughly 10 minutes before serving because ouch.

This post dedicated to the ranch-style home I lived in this time last year. Big shoutout to ranch homes everywhere. 

Philly Cheesesteak Rollups

Sometimes you just want comfort food and you don't want to spend an hour making it. These cheesy, meaty, mushroom yrolls are super delicious, take 20 minutes and totally fill that "I'm slightly hungover and have been doing yard work all morning and all I need is something greasy and filling to pair with this hair-of-the-dog" craving. We all feel it. Don't lie.

Like, have you ever wanted to make taquitos, but needed something a little more... thick? And also you were out of tortillas? Me too, sister. Grab this stuff! It's easy! [Serves 2]

(Also might now be a good time to mention that these taste AWESOME)

7 or 8 slices of bread (it doesn't matter what kind... I used whole wheat?)

a little bit of olive oil for grilling

one package of Daiya mozzarella style cheese

half a pound of store-bought seitan, sliced

5 white mushrooms, diced

1/4 green bell pepper, minced

1 Tbl Braggs liquid aminos 

First, prepare the bread. Cut the crust off the slices (you can save these for croutons!) Using a rolling pin or a relatively flat glass, roll out the bread until they are as thin and flat as you can make them. Set these aside.

In a small pan, heat one tablespoon of olive oil on medium low heat. After about one minute, increase the heat to medium-high and toss in the peppers. Stir for about one minute, then add the mushrooms. Cook for about 2 more minutes, stirring frequently. Remove from heat and place in a bowl to cool.

Return that same pan to heat and add the Braggs liquid aminos. Swirl it around the pan a time or two and add the sliced seitan. Stir fry on medium-high heat for about 2 or 3 minutes. (This might be a good time to prepare the dipping sauce. See below for the recipe!)

Once the seitan is finished, remove from heat and set aside. Now it's time to assemble!

First, grab a big pan and heat some olive oil (enough to coat the pan) over medium heat. One by one, lay out the slices of flattened bread. Spread mozzarella cheese across the slice. Carefully pile the mushroom and pepper mix near the back of the bread. Lay two or three seitan slices across the mushrooms and peppers. Delicately roll the bread up, making sure all the good stuff stays in. This can be tricky, but remember - you are an artist.

Once you roll one up, place it fold-down on the heated pan. Grill for a couple minutes, then flip over and finish the other side. You'll know when they are finished if you've ever been to Taco Bell.

Here's the recipe for the sauce (www.thebomb.com)

1/3 Cup non-dairy sour cream

2 Tbl chili garlic sauce

1 Tbl hot sauce

garnish with black pepper

Hell yeah!

Pumpkin Seed Corn Fritters with Mushroom Gravy

"It's kind of like biscuits and gravy?"

I like this brunch alternative to biscuits and gravy because it's teeny bit more nutritional than the traditional biscuit and also because MUSHROOMS. <3

Also they are pretty easy. People have doubts, naturally, about vegan gravy but I say it is a) delicious and b) simple. I happened to have some seasoned vegetable oil leftover from making fried sweet potato fritters, so that works perfect if you have some sitting around. If not, just use regular vegetable oil.

Here's how the gravy goes down (make this first):

1 Cup chopped mushrooms
1/2 Tbl soy sauce
2 Cups almond milk (or your preferred nondairy milk)
1/2 Cup all-purpose flour (plus more to taste)
1 tsp ground thyme
1 1/2 Tbl black pepper
1 Tbl salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 Tbl seasoned vegetable oil

Heat the soy sauce in a medium saucepan over medium heat for about one minute. Then toss in the mushrooms, along with the thyme, pepper, salt and cayenne and satueé for 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add the vegetable oil and sauteé for another 3 minutes.

Next, add the almond milk and give it a good stir. Gradually add the flour, roughly 1 tablespoon at a time, and it will slowly thicken. Continue to add as needed until you reach desired consistency.

Meanwhile (or shortly thereafter), prepare your corn cakes. I've been doing a lot of corn cakes lately so if you haven't caught on yet, here's the recipe for the pumpkin seed version:

1 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup flour1 tsp baking powder1/2 tsp salt1 cup chopped pumpkin seeds1/2 tsp black pepper1/2 Tbl white sugar
1 Tbl apple cider vinegar1/4 Cup almond milk or soy milk1 Tbl canola oil


In a cast iron skillet, heat the pumpkin seeds on medium heat for about 3 minutes, stirring constantly. This will give them a good toasting. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together your flour, cornmeal, baking powder, salt, pumpkin seeds, pepper and sugar. In a separate bowl, curdle the almond milk with the apple cider vinegar and let sit for about one minute. Then add the milk/AC vinegar mixture to the dry mix, along with the canola oil. Mix until thoroughly combined.

Spoon drops of the batter into a heated cast iron skillet with about 1/4" canola oil in it. Fry these on medium heat, flipping every couple minutes, until a nice toasty brown.

The great thing about gravy is that it can always be reheated on the stove, stirred and served up warm. So if your timing isn't perfect, heat that stuff up, give it a good stir and call it a day. Serve the fritters warm with gravy poured on top.

Serve with beer on the porch. 

Mushroom Quinoa Stuffed Peppers

I love this dish for its simplicity in preparation and its complexity in taste. I try to buy peppers from my local farmer's market when they are in season, but when I can't these sweet mini peppers from Kroger's are SO clutch! They come in a bag for around $3 and are delicious.

First preheat your oven to 375, then prepare your filling:

1 Cup quinoa
2 Cups water
1 cube not chikn bouillon
1 Cup chopped mushrooms
1 Cup chopped kale
2 Tbl Braggs liquid aminos

In a medium saucepan, bring the quinoa and water to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and cover. Simmer for 10 minutes. Then, add the bouillon and simmer, covered, for another 5 minutes. Drain any excess and remove from heat.

Next heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium for 2 minutes. Add the Braggs, mushrooms and chopped kale and sauteé for about 2 minutes. Add the quinoa and cook for another 2 minutes. Remove from heat.

Take your peppers and slice off the tops. Remove any seeds and toss in 1 Tbl olive oil. Stuff with your quinoa mix. Replace the tops of the peppers once they are stuffed, place in a shallow casserole dish and bake for 30 minutes.

Yay! Easy peasy!

Broccoli Corncake Stacks with Red Pepper and Creamy Garlic Thai Sauce

Whew! This one was a doozy but I am so thankful we got it done.

Not sure if I've mentioned this (lol?) but I work two jobs. Most of my meals aim to be quick, easy and hangover-friendly. But I rarely get to host dinner parties so intentionally I made this dish work-intensive. I don't really get many opportunities to do that anymore so here we go!

I've been really into stacks lately - an easy way to make simple ingredients elegant. Here's what's in this one:

layer one - broccoli corncakes
layer two - kale and mushroom
layer three - seasoned quinoa
layer four - cashews and red pepper
layer five - creamy garlic thai sauce

The kale and mushroom are relatively self-explanatory, so today I'll just focus on the broccoli corncakes and the toppings.

The corncakes were naturally the first layer I worked on, because they required the most prep and cook time. Here's how I built them:

1 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup chopped broccoli
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 Tbl white sugar
1/4 Cup almond milk or soy milk
1 Tbl canola oil

Combine all dry ingredients, then mix with the soymilk and oil. Fry in a cast iron skillet with 1 Tbl heated olive oil, flipping once golden brown. Let sit on a paper towel to dry.

Once you have your other layers made, let's look at the creamy garlic thai sauce. Here are the ingredients:

2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp thyme
1 Tbl red curry paste
2 tsp yellow curry powder
1 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup vegan sour cream (I use Tofutti sour cream because it's non-hydrogenated)
2 Tbl soy sauce
1 Tbl chili garlic sauce

Whisk together all ingredients.

The last layer I prepared in this dish was the cashews and red pepper, because it's more important that those are served hot. Here's what I used:

1 cup roasted, salted cashews
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
1/2 Tbl olive oil

Heat the olive oil on med-high in a skillet, then toss in the peppers once you can see the currents in the oils. Give the peppers two minutes to release their aromas, then toss in the cashews, and stir until the cashews are toasted.

See this post on layering and stacking and being all fancy pants.

Cheesy Broccoli Pi with Chili Lime Tofu in Herbed Crust

It's Pi Day, Pi Day, gotta get down on Pi Day. This pi was a labor of love but so, so very worth it. So hunker down and drink some water and pay attention. I'll try to sprinkle a few jokes here and there to keep your attention but I can't promise they'll be gold medallion status because this one is a doozy.


First! Let's marinate some tofu! In order to get the tofu fully marinated, take care of this the night before (March 13, naturally). Here's what you'll need:

One package of well-pressed tofu
Juice from 2 limes
2 Tbl chili garlic sauce
1 tsp brown sugar
2 Tbl soy sauce

Whisk your marinade together in a small bowl. Slice the tofu into cubes and place in a shallow casserole dish. Pour the marinade over your tofu, cover with plastic wrap and place in the fridge overnight.


Next, and most importantly, prepare the crust the day you'll need it (March 14, naturally). Here's what you'll need for two full pie crusts:

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 Tbl sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
2/3 cup shortening
1/2 cup cold water, plus more as needed
4 tsp apple cider vinegar
4 Tbl thyme
4 Tbl basil

First I should point out that this crust recipe is almost an exact replica of the one provided by Isa Chandra in her book Veganomicon, a MUST for anyone even remotely interested in vegan cooking. I see no reason to "improve upon" her recipes, but experimenting with a few tweeks is always encouraged.

The secret to pi crust is keep everything as cold as possible. Vegan Dad even suggests freezing your shortening, then cutting it in as it slowly thaws.

In a large mixing bowl, mix together your dry ingredients. Gradually cut in the shortening bit by bit and mash into the flour with your fingers. Once you're finished, the mixture should be crumbly, pebbly and moist. Next, combine the vinegar and water and slowly add this to the dough. I add this mixture to the dough in a couple small batches, mixing the dough until it pinches together. If you need to, add a little more water until the dough holds.

Gather your dough and gently kneed it just a few times, until it holds together. Sprinkle a clean surface with flour and roll your dough out flat on it, then cover with plastic wrap and place in the fridge until you are ready to use it.

And since you're waiting on your crust to sit and gel, I know I promised some free jokes but I'd rather give you an Onion snippet than scrape the dredges of my own reservoir:

It's one of my favorites.

Now go search The Onion for all things Tim Duncan.

Now it's time to prepare the filling! Gather all yo shit and let's get choppin:

3 cloves minced garlic
Roughly 10 medium sized mushrooms or 1 Cup chopped mushrooms
1 Cup chopped broccoli
1 Tbl olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/4 Cup Braggs liquid aminos
1 Cup nutritional yeast
1/4 Cup almond milk (or your preferred nondairy milk of choice)
2 Tbl flour
splashes of water as needed

Heat a large pan on medium, then add the olive oil and heat it until you can see the currents (roughly half a minute). Add the garlic and cook it for about a minute - just long enough to release the aromas but not long enough to overcook it. Next, add your broccoli and cook for about 5 minutes. Then add the Braggs, salt, and mushrooms and cook an additional 3 minutes, stirring regularly. Next, gradually add the nutritional yeast a few tablespoons at a time, and stir to evenly coat the veggies. Then slowly add the almond milk and stir.

Here is where you'll need to monitor your mix and make sure it thickens properly. As it cooks, stir continually and gradually add the water/flour based on how thick you want it. Do this for about 5 minutes, uncovered, then remove from heat.

Oh here is the part where you have forgotten to preheat your oven, so go ahead and heat your oven to 350 while you prepare your pi crust.

Now let's build the pi! Take your crust out of the fridge and slice it in half. Roll out both halves on a clean, flour-dusted surface. Press one half into a pi dish to prepare the outer crust, and set aside the other half for the top.

Lay out the marinated tofu on the bottom of the pi crust to build your bottom layer. Next, pour your mushroom/broccoli mix over the tofu, then lay the remaining crust over the top. And obviously here is where you can feel free to design your Pi Day crust as you see fit. Brush with melted Earth Balance and bake for 45-55 minutes, or until the crust is golden and the filling is bubbling.

As always, thanks to sous-chef Travis for going the extra mile to model this pi!

Happy Pi Day!

This is the Greatest Sandwich in the World

I don't like to post things that don't seem too original, or tutorials for how to throw together processed food, because we are all adults here (right? babies can't read?). But someone on IG specifically said "OH THIS NEEDS TO BE ON YOUR BLOG" when I posted it the other day.

And I will concede. Simply because it is the greatest sammich I think I've ever constructed. Here, let me say more about that:

As you may or may not have heard me whining about recently, I just started serving corporate meat and other various deep-fried sundries to the masses of Bowling Green and the greater I-65 area, which deprives me of sleep time and cooking time, to say nothing of the daily ethical limbo I two-step around. Serving life is silly and romantic and difficult and I'm not convinced yet whether or not it's worth it for now, but suffice it to say that I have been cooking less hour-and-a-half long dishes, and exploring instead the sammich world.

So this was birthed out of a 16-hour, stiffed-twice, grab-a-beer-as-soon-as-you-get-home work day. It's simple enough but turned into the Greatest Sammich in the World, as you can clearly read from the post title. It is champagne dijon mustard, sauteed mushrooms and broccoli (with Braggs and nooch), pan-fried veggie dogs, and more champagne dijon mustard, all on Ezekiel sprouted bread.

I don't like to keep meat alternatives around, because a) they tend to be highly processed and b) they don't exactly promote a healthy lifestyle. But sometimes, Manager's Special, you know? Plus you can never tell when a hungry gaggle of touring punk bands will roll through your town. So I buy 'em on clearance and give them a home in the freezer.

More to come, on rare days off.

Speaking of days off - have you watched John Green's last Crash Course in World History episode of all time yet? Globalization - Good or Bad? Check it out.

Cauliflower Mushroom Pasta with Roasted Brussels Sprouts

I have been mega into Brussels sprouts lately, which is a novel thing for me because I have never been able to claim being "really into" Brussels sprouts before. But they are super simple and SO CUTE! Right?

This pasta hit the spot for a carb-loading long run day for me. It was the product of me needing to get rid of some cauliflower (which is a GREAT problem to have - cauliflower is so versatile and fabulous!), but it turned out great so I think I'll keep it around.

For starters, here's a short tutorial on roasting Brussels sprouts. I guess everyone does it differently, but here's how I prepared them for this dish (and also, how I normally prepare them unless I'm really trying to avoid oil and fat but WHY would I ever do that????).

First, preheat your oven to 400, and go ahead and stick a cast iron skillet in there to warm up with your oven. It's always best to heat your skillet with your oven when roasting, to better balance your temperature dynamics. Next, slice your sweet little sprouts in half, lengthwise, so you can see all those crazy layers that just look so darling and aesthetically satisfying. Once your oven is heated, lay those sprouts face down in your skillet, along with a teeny bit of olive oil -- just enough to coat the bottom of the pan.

Let these roast for 20 minutes, then remove them from the oven -- MAKE SURE to use an oven mitt, even if someone comes into the kitchen and distracts you with lovely conversation of poetry and beer and good things. Even if this person is good looking, they will not change the fact that this pan is HOT, and you will have a burn mark on your palm for weeks at least. Be careful.

So remove the pan and drop a dollop of Earth Balance onto the side of the pan. It will melt and run around the base of the pan, and make your sprouts hella good. Then season with salt and pepper, and return to the oven for another 20 minutes.

So let's get to the sauce. This sauce is hella easy and relatively simple. Here's what you'll need:

1 cup chopped mushrooms
1/2 cup chopped cauliflower
1 T coconut oil
2 T Braggs
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp cumin

So throw those mushrooms and cauliflowerz into a hot skillet, and cook with the coconut oil over medium for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then add the Braggs and spices and cook another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.

Once your shrooms and etc aren't so steamy, throw it all into a food processor and puree until creamy. Return to a pot for a quick heat-up once you have pasta ready. By this time, your sprouts should be nice and toasty and VOILA, you have an awesome post-workout [or mid-hangover] lunch!

Breakfast Pizza

I have been dreaming of making a breakfast pizza for FOREVER, and today I finally had the day off work to do it.

There are four basic elements (read: four different stages of prep work [read: four different rounds of dishes]) of this pizza: homemade pizza dough (obvi), sweet avocado sauce for the base, tofu scramble with peppers mushrooms carrots spinach, topped with maple tempeh bacon. Geeeeeee.

As always, I recommend Isa Chandra's pizza dough recipe, which is straightforward and thorough. Also, I've covered the basics of tofu scramble somewhere on here before, so we'll skip that tutorial.

The maple tempeh bacon, however, requires some forethought. Make this one day ahead. Here's what you'll need:

1/2 package of tempeh
1/2 C soy sauce
2 T apple cider vinegar
1/2 T brown sugar
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
1/2 tsp chile powder
2 tsp liquid smoke
1 T pure maple syrup

Slice the tempeh into thin strips, and place in a shallow dish big enough to lay each strip flat. In a small sauce pot, heat the soy sauce and apple cider over medium-low heat. Once heated, add the sugar and stir until completely dissolved. Add the remaining spices and stir on low heat for another 2 minutes, then remove from heat. Once cooled, stir in the liquid smoke and maple syrup.

Pour the marinade over the tempeh strips, making sure that each one is completely inundated. Cover with plastic wrap and chill (bro) in the fridge overnight.

Now it's PIZZZZZZA TIME. Let's talk about the sauce.

No literally, let's have a conversation about pizza sauce.

Well no one has called or texted or g-chatted me yet so I'll continue with my MONOlogue about this pizza sauce. Now would be a good time to mention that I have a "thing" for avocado, and this sauce is not for the faint of heart. It's a little sweet, but definitely avocado-y and therefore definitely earthy and... avocado-y. Get these stuffs:

1/2 an avocado
1/2 C raw, unsalted cashews
1/4 C water
1 T honey (or your preferred sweetener if you don't "believe in" honey)

In a food processor, pulse the cashews until crumbly, then slowly add the water until it's all creamy and what have you. Add the avocado and honey (or your preferred sweetener if you don't "believe in" honey), and puree until it's all smooth and what have you. Look down into that little food processor hole and see if the sauce is all "loosey goosey" or all "stiff and boring." If it's all "stiff and boring" and might not hack it as a pizza sauce, continue to process and slowly add more water, one tablespoon at a time. I confess I was not diligent in writing down all of these measurements. Just pretend you didn't hear that.

Wait! Before we get any further, go ahead and preheat your oven to FIVE THOUSAND -- I'm sorry -- FIVE HUNDRED degrees.

So! Prepare the crust, spread the sauce, and cover the pie with your tofu scramble. Top with the maple tempeh bacon strips and, when your oven has done its "thang" (read: preheated), throw that pie in for 20 minutes.

Serve with coffee and good poems!

Kale Polenta with Roasted Butternut Squash Sauce

I moved into a new fancy house! It's gorgeous and old and filled with boys. The rooms are enormous -- with the exception of the kitchen. It's literally the size of the bathroom in my old home. Maybe. Maybe it's a little bigger. But hardly!

But it is rather precious and I feel nice and warm inside. So what better way to celebrate my move than split a 6-pack with my new roommate and go to bed at 8?

That was not a rhetorical question, because the answer is this: make a fancy dinner!

Whenever I move, I discover all sorts of delightful things that I like to imagine I'll use soon but never do. And this butternut squash from the Community Farmer's Market has been sitting in my veggie bowl for weeks, just mocking me. I hate cubing butternut squash. But it is so worth it. Most of the time. This time, however, I just roasted it - which is always the route I'd go for a sauce.

I like making a good sauce to be the star of the show. So we'll start there and end with the easier parts of the dish.

Here's what you'll need for the squash sauce:

1 small-medium (how specific am I?!) butternut squash

1 T Earth Balance

1/2 medium onion, diced or chopped or however you like them

1/2 T brown sugar

1/2 C vegetable stock

1/4 C almond milk

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp lemon juice

1/2 T sriracha

First thing's first, roast the squash. Halve the thing, lightly coat the flesh in olive oil, and lay both pieces flesh-side down on an oven pan. Roast at 400 for about a half hour. When it's finished, remove the squash (well of course) and scoop out the flesh with a spoon. Put it in a bowl or something. Or have your new roommate stand next to you with his hands cupped delicately while you spoon in the steaming squash. He's an Afghanistan veteran so surely he can handle a little squash, after all?

While your roommate is holding the squash, start the polenta. This is a fairly basic process - if you're buying polenta in a bag, follow those instructions for cooking, using vegetable stock instead of water, and add chopped kale after about 10 minutes.

Let's start the sauce. Throw the squash flesh into a blender or food processor and process into a puree. For the sake of saving on dishes, I'm sure your roommate wouldn't mind holding this for you again. What a sweetheart. 

Melt the Earth Balance in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat, then stir in the onions and cook until translucent. Next, add the brown sugar and incorporate into the onions, then ask your roommate to dump the squash puree into the pot. Add the vegetable stock, milk, salt and pepper, lemon juice and sriracha, and cook for another 5 minutes. Finish with a dash of cinnamon.

Pour over polenta medallions and other sauteed veggies. I served mine with mushrooms, because, seriously, mushrooms. 

   

Rosemary Mushroom Seitan Loaf

This is one of those will-not-be-so-interesting-because-my-computer-just-crashed-and-this-is-my-second-time-writing-this-and-I-am-frustrated-by-my-techonological-incompetency sort of posts. So I’ll skip the anecdote about my brother’s snarky comments regarding this rosemary mushroom seitan and move on.

If you’ve never made seitan before, it does take a certain about of practice to get the timing just right. If it comes out a little tough, make sure you don’t leave it sitting around forever if you’re planning on using it for, oh I don’t know, a MEGA THANKSGIVING PIZZA.

Here’s the spice mix you’ll need:
1 tsp salt
1.5 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp garlic powder
a dash of turmeric
1 tsp sage
1/2 tsp pepper
2 tsp rosemary

There’s your spice mix. Go ahead and mix it all together, then gather the rest of your ingredients:

2 tbl oliv oil
1/2 cup mushrooms, chopped
1 cup water
1 and 1/4 cup vital wheat gluten

Add the spice mix to the wheat gluten and mix well. Then stir in the mushrooms, and finally add the remaining wet ingredients. It won’t be long before your loaf takes shape, and that’s when you will remember that you’re out of aluminum foil. So get on your bicycle and ride to Kroger’s (pronounced KROD-jers), buy 75 feet of foil and come back home. Your loaf has been waiting patiently to be wrapped in literally hundreds of layers of foil.

Ok, hundreds of layers are not necessary. But you’ll definitely need copious amounts of foil here. Wrap that shit up like a Tootsie Roll. Including the part where you twist the sides. Literally like a Tootsie Roll. Like a giant vegan rosemary mushroom Tootsie Roll.

Now it’s time to steam. Steam your Tootsie Roll for 50 minutes. Then, bake at 350 for a half hour. Slice and serve cold on a sammich, or grill, or throw at your friends, or put on a MEGA THANKSGIVING PIZZA, or otherwise do anything with this loaf that you might do with meat.

Quinoa Stuffed Avocado

I will make any excuse to include avocados to my cooking. In this dish, however, they are the star of the show. Rejoice!

To make the filling: cook quinoa with veggie broth. Sauté chopped mushrooms in olive oil for 5 minutes. Add chopped spinach and grated carrot, and cook another 2 minutes. Add quinoa and mix all together. Voila!

To prepare the avocado, half the avo and scoop out a hefty dent (you can then use this flesh to… I don’t know, snack on? What else would you do with perfectly ripe avocado right in front of you?!). Stuff with quinoa filling, top with sriracha and broil for 5 minutes.

Spinach and Mushroom Enchiladas with Tomato Cashew Sauce

It was “OMG Mexican” night. Lots going on here but it’s pretty basic once you gather all the ingredients.

Enchilada filling: sauté onions in OO with garlic. Add mushrooms, along with taco seasoning (but I used cumin/paprika), and stir for 5 minutes. Add chopped spinach and cook on low another 10 minutes.

Sauce: In a food processor, prepare cashew cream: 1c raw cashews and 1c water. Heat in a saucepan with 1c tomato sauce. Simmer on low and season with hot sauce, cumin, nutritional yeast, and salt and pepper.

Stuff tortilla with filling, cover with sauce and bake at 350 for 15 minutes. And it goes without saying that everything is better when topped with avocado.

Southwest kale chips: separate kale leaves from stems and toss in a bowl with olive oil, nutritional yeast, salt/pepper and chili powder. Spread out on a pan and bake at 350 for 13 minutes.

Fresh corn salsa: combine fresh corn, diced red pepper, diced diced red onion, edamame, lime and lemon juice.

For best results, serve with a well-spiked tequila sunrise. Because you know.

Baked Tofu Sammich with Mushrooms and Spinach

Sammich. Pressed tofu baked in a shallow pool of balsamic vinegar. Sautéed spinach and mushrooms, Daiya, broiled open-face for a few minutes. And sriracha, of course.

Smoked Tofu Pizza with Cashew Spinach Sauce

Killer pizza.

I usually use Vegan Dad’s dough recipe, but this time I used Isa’s. Both are stellar.

The tofu here was marinated overnight in Frank’s redhot, liquid smoke, balsamic vinegar and soy milk.

The sauce is a purée of spinach, cashews, coconut milk, basil, salt/pepper.

Topped with Daiya, mushrooms and artichokes.

Basic Tofu Scramble

It’s amazing how much I love tofu scramble, considering how much I have always disliked scrambled eggs. It was the smell that got me. Ew.

I have prepared this dish so many times I could do it in my sleep. Start off with the onion garlic thing - sauté in a skillet (cast iron FTW) on medium-low heat until translucent. Crumble in well-pressed tofu with your fingers (serving shown here is 1/3 a package). Add a little bit of water to keep the tofu from sticking (continue to do this as needed until it’s done - which shouldn’t be very much). Stir a few minutes and add veggies - here I used snap peas and red peppers. Stir for 5 minutes, then add softer veggies like mushrooms and spinach. Grate in carrot just to be fancy. Add spice mixture - muy importante. I use an eyeball mix of cumin, paprika, sage, salt and pepper, turmeric, and nooch. Continue cooking another 5-10 minutes. Most important: follow your heart