Smoky Midnight Mac

I know the title of this entry may feel misleading, but this post will in no way involve any scandalous stories about strip clubs or biker bars. At least none that I have planned.

Y'all I gotta say that I LOVE mac 'n' cheese. Macncheese? Man and cheese. Mac n' cheese? Mac n cheese. There are too many terrible ways to spell that and none of them look right. Point is, I love mac n cheese. I used to make the blue box on the daily when I was living at home. I remember having to write an instructional how-to essay for Mrs. Horne in 7th grade, and I of course neglected this elementary assignment on the grounds that I had more important things to do, like jump on the trampoline or read Harry Potter. So the next day in homeroom I whipped out this excellent essay on how to make mac n cheese - FROM MEMORY. Prophetic?

Actually. Considering how often I throw together (hopefully accurate) recipes for my blog from memory, I'd say that particular memory is creepily prophetic.

God I love mac n cheese. Ok let's get started with this one, because it's lovely and simple and delicious, Here's what you'll need (serves 2):

a normal amount of pasta

2 veggie dogs, sliced lengthwise

1.5 Cup chopped kale

1 Tbl olive oil

1 Tbl smoked paprika

1 tsp chili powder

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp sea salt

2 tsp turmeric

1/2 Cup nutritional yeast flakes

1 Cup soy creamer

1/2 Cup almond milk

Begin with preparing your pasta, because your sauce will be done by the time it's finished. 

In a small skillet, toss your sliced veggie dogs in olive oil in medium-high heat until a little crispy. Set aside.

In a sauce pot, heat the olive oil over medium for a half a minute, then toss in your kale. Saute on medium for about 2-3 minutes, or until totally wilted. Add the paprika, chili powder, salt and pepper, turmeric and nutritional yeast and stir until incorporated. Slowly add the creamer, then top off with some almond milk. Whisk until fully mixed. Chop your crispy veggie dogs and toss these into the mix. Toss with pasta and BOOM.

Roasted Zucchini Pepper Pasta

There are times when I begin writing a blog post and I am overcome almost immediately with the notion that my time would be better spent recreating and re-eating the thing I am covering in said post. It takes tremendous willpower to continue sitting at my desk, writing about the nice-looking photo above and remembering how delightful it felt in my belly. Today is one of those days, so bear with me!

Yes, this pasta dish was incredible. AND nearly all local to boot. The summer is the most fabulous time for my mouth, on account of the abundance of produce in and around my life. Thanks as always to my local farmer's market (and my good friends) for making fresh vegetables available to my tummy. One beautiful thing about this sauce, which I think highlights one benefit of cooking with local produce, is that it is not heavily seasoned. The vegetables sort of speak for themselves in this one.

Here's what I used to make this sauce:

roughly 1 1/2 Cup chopped zucchini (or about 1 "normal size" zucchini - though mine was about the size of a small child)
1/2 Cup roasted red peppers
4 leaves fresh basil, chopped
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 an heirloom tomato - all yellowish and reddish, diced

(also you need pasta. obvi)

To begin, go ahead and boil your pasta water to prepare your elbows or whichever pasta you prefer, because the sauce doesn't take too long. I must say, this sauce goes disgustingly well with elbows.

Note: if you don't already "have" roasted red peppers, go ahead and do this first. I have a post on roasting red peppers here if you need some guidance. You obviously may used jarred roasted red peppers but they tend to be pretty pricey. It's quite silly. I roast some every so often and keep them in the fridge and pretend they are from Kroger's, which turns out to be a bad idea because they won't last as long.

Heat a dab of olive oil in a small skillet over medium-high heat. Toss in the zucchini and sauté for about 2 minutes, or until slightly browned. Remove from heat and let these cool. Throw them into a food processor, along with the roasted red peppers, chopped basil and salt, and process for about one minute.

Return the sauce to a small saucepan and add the diced tomatoes. Heat for about 5 minutes on low, stirring regularly.

HEY and I bet you thought there was going to be more here, didn't you? No. It is that simple. Other than to say of course, that I garnished mine with a dollop of Tofutti's Better Than Sour Cream, which contains no hydrogenated oils and is delicious to boot. Also a sprig of basil. YUM town.

Cauliflower Mushroom Pasta with Roasted Brussels Sprouts

I have been mega into Brussels sprouts lately, which is a novel thing for me because I have never been able to claim being "really into" Brussels sprouts before. But they are super simple and SO CUTE! Right?

This pasta hit the spot for a carb-loading long run day for me. It was the product of me needing to get rid of some cauliflower (which is a GREAT problem to have - cauliflower is so versatile and fabulous!), but it turned out great so I think I'll keep it around.

For starters, here's a short tutorial on roasting Brussels sprouts. I guess everyone does it differently, but here's how I prepared them for this dish (and also, how I normally prepare them unless I'm really trying to avoid oil and fat but WHY would I ever do that????).

First, preheat your oven to 400, and go ahead and stick a cast iron skillet in there to warm up with your oven. It's always best to heat your skillet with your oven when roasting, to better balance your temperature dynamics. Next, slice your sweet little sprouts in half, lengthwise, so you can see all those crazy layers that just look so darling and aesthetically satisfying. Once your oven is heated, lay those sprouts face down in your skillet, along with a teeny bit of olive oil -- just enough to coat the bottom of the pan.

Let these roast for 20 minutes, then remove them from the oven -- MAKE SURE to use an oven mitt, even if someone comes into the kitchen and distracts you with lovely conversation of poetry and beer and good things. Even if this person is good looking, they will not change the fact that this pan is HOT, and you will have a burn mark on your palm for weeks at least. Be careful.

So remove the pan and drop a dollop of Earth Balance onto the side of the pan. It will melt and run around the base of the pan, and make your sprouts hella good. Then season with salt and pepper, and return to the oven for another 20 minutes.

So let's get to the sauce. This sauce is hella easy and relatively simple. Here's what you'll need:

1 cup chopped mushrooms
1/2 cup chopped cauliflower
1 T coconut oil
2 T Braggs
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp cumin

So throw those mushrooms and cauliflowerz into a hot skillet, and cook with the coconut oil over medium for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then add the Braggs and spices and cook another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.

Once your shrooms and etc aren't so steamy, throw it all into a food processor and puree until creamy. Return to a pot for a quick heat-up once you have pasta ready. By this time, your sprouts should be nice and toasty and VOILA, you have an awesome post-workout [or mid-hangover] lunch!

Spold Mac

One of my favorite restaurants in Portland is The Montage, located underneath the Morrison Bridge, just on the Southeast side of the city. It's a cajun spot with sassy servers, viking-style seating, dim lights and late hours. I love this place, and even more, I love their famous mac n' cheese dishes. So when I went vegan, I was a little bit sad (though eventually satisfied, to be honest) when ordering a black-eyed-pea salad at this spot.

Their most popular dishes are the Old Mac, the Spicy Mac, and the Spold Mac - a combination of both. I always order the Spold, so here's a veganized version of one of my favorite dishes ever. It's creamy, spicy, and super super nostalgic in just the right kind of mid-90's Portland sort of way.

3 cloves garic, minced
1/2 C cauliflower, chopped
1/2 C shredded carrots, chopped
1/2 package tempeh, cubed
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp oregano
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 C nutritional yeast
1/4 C soy sauce
2 T chili garlic sauce
1/4 C soy creamer

First, boil some pasta. I happened to have a mix of shells, rotini and macaroni and it was perfect. But I recognize this dish is indeed a mac dish, so feel free to just use elbows.

Meanwhile, saute your garlic, cauliflower, carrots and tempeh in olive oil, over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes. Then add your spices and nutritional yeast, and cook another two minutes.

Next, add your cooked pasta and toss with the veggies, stirring constantly for a minute or so to make sure the pasta is well mixed with the spice. Finally, reduce heat and add the soy sauce, chili garlic sauce and soy creamer, and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Enjoy with frog legs, alligator jambalaya and a Red Stripe beer! I mean. Or.

Cheesy Topless Lasagna

I’m sure you’ve learned by now, being a consumer in 2012, that our lives are all about branding. Some of the smartest people in the world are working at Starbucks (um) because they don’t know how to brand themselves. But here I am to help! You’re welcome. This recipe is for Topless Creamy Vegetable Lasagna. I made it for my dear friend Jordan’s wedding, which included a potluck reception. (BRILLIANT. There was even vegan cheesecake there.)

This lasagna was a labor of love. It will have you doing dishes for days, so it might be best to stagger the preparation over a few days so as to not overwhelm you. It’s worth it though! I promise.

First I made the sauce and filling. Here’s what you’ll need:

some olive oil (duh)
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 tbl finely minced garlic
1 cup chopped fresh basil
2.5 tbl flour
3 cups almond milk, soymilk or what have you
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 cup raw cashews
2 tbl nutritional yeast
1 tsp sea salt
1.5 cup chopped carrots
1.5 cup chopped mushrooms
1.5 cup chopped broccoli

In a medium saucepan, heat some olive oil. Add the onion and garlic, and sauté until translucent. (Is now a good time to whine about how often I find myself typing the phrase “sauté until translucent” or “cook until translucent”? Am I famous enough to coin the acronym SUT or CUT? I know those don’t flow off the tongue so much, but we’ll go with it until I find it irritating.)

So cook those suckers, then add the basil. Cook about 2 minutes or so. You need the basil to be wilted, but not too dark. Transfer this creamy goodness to a bowl, and set aside to cool.

Use that same saucepan (efficiency!), heat some more olive oil. Whisk in the flour and cook for about a minute. The flour should smell toasty. But don’t burn it, you silly goose! Add the coconut milk, then add the almond milk 1/4 a cup at a time, whisking constantly. The mixture should thicken, but if it doesn’t, don’t sweat it. This can happen later. Just relax. Add this mixture to the cooled (hopefully) basil mixture, and whisk it all together as one happy, dysfunctional basil family.

Meanwhile, while the sauce is cooling as much as it knows how, process the raw cashews in a food processor. (It will be loud. If your roommates are watching Duck Dynasty in the living room, apologize and bring them cocktails.) The cashews should be crumbly and fine, almost powdery. Refill your roommates’ glasses, and add the basil sauce, along with nutritional yeast and sea salt, and process for a minute or so. Until nice and creamy. AGAIN, if it’s not too creamy yet, it’s fine. Relax.

Add this sauce to that VERY SAME SAUCEPAN (#efficiency!) and return to heat. Add the chopped vegetables.

If you’re making the whole lasagna on the same day, now would be the time to simmer this vegetable sauce on LOW for 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Otherwise, simmer for 15 minutes and you’re good to store the sauce for a later day.

Another part of this dish you can prepare beforehand is the tofu ricotta - the recipe for which I unapologetically ganked from Isa. It’s super simple. Here’s what you need:

1 package of well-pressed, firm or extra-firm tofu
2 tsp lemon juice
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 tsp salt
dash of black pepper
about ten leaves fresh basil
2 tsp olive oil
1/4 cup nutritional yeast

In a large bowl, mush up the tofu with your fingers, until it’s crumbly. Add the lemon juice, garlic, salt, pepper, and basil. Mush it all together real nice-like, with your hands, until it gets sort of ricotta-y. Add the olive oil, and stir with a fork. Add the nooch and mix it all up. This will hold in the fridge for about a week.

And now we get to lasagna day!

Yes! First and foremost, haul out your vegetable cream sauce and simmer on low for about 40 minutes. Make sure to stir on occasion.

Next, decide how many layers you want to put in your ‘sagna (check that slang I just coined). Boil enough lasagna pasta to fulfill your layer needs, for about 8-10 minutes depending on your pasta. Drain and rinse with cool water. Line the bottom of your casserole dish with the pasta, and preheat your oven to 325.

When your sauce is done simmering, it’s time to build your ‘sagna. I layered mine like this:

pasta
vegetable sauce
Daiya mozzarella shreds
pasta
ricotta

And so on and so forth. Now the Daiya shreds are a bit of a luxury, one that I would omit were I to be making this dish just for myself. BUT we ARE, after all, making topless lasagna. And thus we shall press on.

Cover the final layer of pasta with Daiya shreds. Bake at 325, covered, for 20 minutes. Then bake another 15 minutes, uncovered.

Here’s the important part! When it’s done baking, turn the broiler on high. Leave the lasagna under the broiler while you go dry your hair. Make sure to stage your roommates in the kitchen, to alert you when they see smoke coming from the oven.

Storm into the kitchen, visibly upset at the sight of your burnt creation, remove lasagna, DON’T CRY WHATEVER YOU DO, and let cool while you finish drying your hair, reminding yourself that this is exactly why you’ll never own a successful, famous vegan food cart in downtown Portland. You’ll always be a barista.

Wait! This part is important! Ten minutes later, remove the top layer and consider your time served. It’s still delicious.

Sweet Potato and Squash Mac N' Cheese

Happy Autumn! I am delighted to share with you this squash and sweet potato mac n' cheese, which I admittedly ate far too much of. Twice. This is due in part to its creamy, sweet, hearty fullness and in part to the buttery crust on top, which absolutely makes the meal.

First, roast, boil or otherwise prepare as you wish 1 sweet potato and 1 acorn squash. You'll need the flesh for later, and this will take the most time.

To make the basic sauce, you'll need:

1 cup almond milk

1/4 C nutritional yeast

1 T Earth Balance

1/4 t garlic powder

1/4 t onion powder

1/2 t mustard powder

1/2 t sea salt

black pepper to taste (I usually use copious amounts)

1 1/2 T all-purpose flour

Heat the almond milk on medium heat for 4 minutes, then stir in all the remaining ingredients except the flour. Reduce heat to low and add the flour 1 tablespoon at a time, stirring constantly until the sauce thickens.

Turn the heat to simmer and stir in the squash and sweet potato, gradually stirring until completely mixed. 

Mix the sauce with cooked pasta and you have your basic root veggie mac n' cheese. But if you were paying attention earlier (!!!) you'll clearly recall that the sweet, crumbly topping is key in this dish. So go ahead and preheat your oven to 350 degrees, why don't you?

Whisk 1/2 C all-purpose flour, 1/4 t salt, 1/4 t black pepper, and 2t sugar together in a medium-size bowl. Gradually cut in 2T Earth Balance, mixing with your fingers, until the meal gets crumbly. Sprinkle over your pasta and pop that shit in the oven! For, oh I don't know, 15 minutes?