Strawberry Banana Chia Pudding

Ok so might you allow me just a moment to reflect on chia seeds? Please? Listen, I follow a lot of vegan chefs/bloggers/entrepreneurs/home cooks/caterers/vlog celebs on Instagram and inevitably SOMEONE, each day, is going to post a freaking picture of their freaking chia pudding. What gives?

Sure, you could probably answer that "what gives" is that it's easy, fast, cheap, simple, PACKED with nutrients and tasty. You could. Or you could just point to the fact that this simple treat is JUST LIKE JELLO PUDDING HELLO.

Anyhow now that I live alone, I am constantly looking for ways to get rid of things I spurractically purchase at the grocery store in quantities I cannot support with one stomach - like a whole freaking bunch of bananas, or an entire half-gallon of almond milk. The sheer volume of these things may seem negligable to those of you with the luxury of roommates, but believe me, I really cannot let myself eat at Puerto Vallarta more than once a week anymore, or my food will spoil. It's a hard life living alone.

So here's a cool thing you can do if you have these things lying around your house and want to "feel healthy" for the day but don't want to like "eat things that taste like dirt." Here's what you'll need:

1 ripe banana

1 Cup strawberries

5 pitted dates

1/2 Cup chia seeds

1/4 Cup almond milk

So put those three things in a food processor and pulse until you have finished reading "A Little Tooth" by Thomas Lux. Mix the chia seeds with the milk, and add to the fruit mixture. Whip it all together and let sit in the fridge for at least 2 hours. Most folks believe you should let it chill until TOMORROW but who has the patience for this? 

It is delicious TODAY. Enjoy with poetry and don't forget to be awesome.

Mint Strawberry Oreo Cupcakes

I made these cupcakes with a handful of ingredients for a store meeting I attended recently. It’s always nice to have an excuse for cupcakes.

Cake: Curdle 1.5c almond milk with 1tbsp of apple cider vinegar - whisk together and let stand a few minutes. Meanwhile, whisk together 2c flour, 1c sugar, 2tsp baking powder, 1/2tsp baking soda, and 1/2tsp salt. In a separate bowl, heat 1/2c coconut oil until liquid, and mix with curdled milk and a little over a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients, and toss in a handful of mushed strawberries. Bake at 350 for 15 or so minutes.

Icing: Beat together 1/2c of margarine with 1/2c of shortening. Add 3c powdered sugar, vanilla extract, 1/4c soymilk, however many shots of peppermint Schnapps you wish and however many crushed Oreos you wish.

Top with sliced strawberries and mini Oreos. Duh.