I'm sitting here at my desk, debating whether or not to indulge in a rant about the irony of patting myself on the back for making beautiful cookies for my younger brother's graduation, when I have yet to figure out when I am going to march down to that English office at WKU and say "HEY GUYS can I have a degree now please?" I hear that's all you have to do.
Well anyhow. My baby brother graduated from University of Tennessee this weekend and I am proud of him. If you ever hear someone scoff or roll their eyes and say something about how college these days is a joke and degrees are a dime a dozen, sock them in the balls and ask them how many books they've read. Because it's probably not many. Probably.
Anyhow, because I am sap for being festive, here we are. It's probably a good idea to prepare the fondant first, as that will take much more time than anything. But first, a quick rant on fondant.
Fondant is traditionally made with gelatin, which is obviously not vegan. Most vegan fondant recipes I've seen involve agar agar powder, glycerin or other silly (though surely helpful) ingredients. But I am mostly poor and lazy so this recipe will work in a pinch. It may be more greasy than others, but you can adjust your roll by adding more sugar if need be.
Fondant rant part II: this crap ain't easy, guys. Or not to me, at least. You need a good space, a clean surface and a lot of patience to decorate cookies or pastries so make sure to consider the outcome of your hard work. Sometimes you'll take these to a party where the drunk attendees will never remember your treats. Sometimes your co-workers will never see your cookies on the break table. So make sure to photograph them so that all your time and patience can at least launch you into Instafame.
Here's what you'll need:
1/4 C light corn syrup
1/4 C non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 C confectioner's sugar
You may need to adjust these as you go, so keep the sugar handy. So melt the shortening and mix with corn syrup, then add each other ingredient one at a time. When it's time to add the sugar, do so in small amounts, stirring until you have a stuff dough. At this point, you may work on it with your hands. Here's the point where you might get frustrated, even hopeless. Don't fret, just keep adding sugar! The thing I like to keep in mind when baking (because I am NOT a talented baker by any means), is that most people (particularly 22-year-old fraternity boys) really have limited knowledge as to the finer points of baking. So whatever you do, it's going to look impressive to SOMEONE. Surely. Right?
So. Roll it out, flatten it on your counter, and prepare to cut into strips, bowls, balls, arrows, hearts, bathing-suit-area body parts, mustaches, or what have you.
Let's get onto the cookies! These are pretty easy peasy, particularly after working with fondant. Gather yo shit:
2 C all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 C raw sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup soy milk
1/2 C molasses
1/4 C canola oil
Preheat your oven to 350. Sift together your dry ingredients minus the sugar. In a separate bowl, mix together your wet ingredients and the sugar. Combine the two, and stir until mixed. When your dough is ready, roll into balls of your liking (balls of your liking!) and bake on a lightly greased cookie sheet for 12 minutes. Let cool before you decorate them, you dummy!
And go finish that degree!
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