Childhood Nostalgia Stuffed Crust Pizza with Mac & Cheese, Fried Pickles and Ranch Drizzle

WOAH IT'S VEGAN PIZZA DAY MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY.

To celebrate, I literally ate nothing but vegan pizza today. No lie - after work, I went to Mellow Mushroom for lunch (one of the very few vegan friendly spots in Bowling Green) and ordered a small pizza with tempeh, Daiya, kalamata olives and mushrooms. Bomb! Thank you Mellow Mushroom for allowing me to eat vegan pizza ALL DAY.

AND THEN for dinner I prepared the following pit-zuh in celebration of this beautiful, meaningful holiday. If I may, I'd like for you to read this post with your eyes and also with your heart - to get our country back to its roots and to recognize the TRUE meaning of Vegan Pizza Day. It's not about buying the most expensive gift or decorating your house with the biggest light show on the block or throwing the biggest holiday party with A-list guests. It's about... well... GOD BLESS AMERICA.

This pizza is all about nostalgia. It ties together a few of my absolute favorite things from childhood (and let's be real - I can devour these dishes in no time as an adult as well) - macaroni and cheese, fried pickles, ranch, and STUFFED CRUST.

As we all know, by now, homemade pizza dough is a labor of love. I have nothing significant to add to Isa Chandra's dough recipe so I will let you find that on your own. Spoiler alert! - the thesis of dough recipes is usually this - dough making/stretching/mixing is an art. It's simple enough - mix some yeast and sugar and water with some flour, cover it in oil, let it rest, stretch it out, kneed it out, let it rest some more, kneed it some more. But it is all about the feeling. Any seasoned pro (i.e. someone who has made dough more than once) can tell you - it's about your technique.

While your dough is resting (as there is plenty of this involved - believe me), first prepare your fried pickles. The biggest challenge in making these is abstaining from eating each one as you pull them out of the fryer. For one, this will burn you. Also, you won't have any fried pickles left to top your pizza. How embarrassing!!!! 

For this you will need:

However many pickles you want to fry - I use the hamburger dill kind 

1 1/2 Cup all purpose flour

2 Tbl cornstarch

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp egg replacer powder

1 tsp paprika

1 Cup almond milk (or your preferred non-dairy milk of choice)

Whisk together all the dry ingredients in a small bowl. Pour the almond milk in another small bowl.

Fill a heavy cast iron skillet or other high-heat pan with vegetable oil about halfway, or about 2 inches below the top of the pan. Heat the oil on medium-high heat and wait a bit.

To prepare the pickles, simply dip them in the milk, then the flour mixture and set aside. As a general frying rule of thumb, always toss in a small piece of batter as a test before frying your main dish. If the small bit begins frying immediately, then your oil is hot enough. If not, wait a little longer.

Fry your pickles in small batches of four or five to avoid them clumping together. Remove with a fork or other slotted utensil and place on a paper towel to dry. These can sit and relax until you are ready for your pizza. If, of course, you resist temptation. Again, let me emphasize that this is THE most difficult part of assembling the nostalgia pizza.

Oh look at that - you still have some resting time for your dough?????!! How shall we pass the time? Watch a few Friends episodes? Read a Billy Collins poem? Walk to your corner bar for a pint of the good stuff? Consider overpopulation? Or perhaps we could, oh I don't know, make some MAC N CHEESE.

Now the easy option here would be to purchase some store bought mac n cheese. This will work in a pinch, of course. When I am feeling lazy/hungover/crampy I indulge in Amy's gluten free mac n cheeze, which beats any store bought product I've personally encountered. The problem with using store bought mac and cheese with this pizza, though, is that you have little to no control over the amount of sauce, which will become crucial in the baking stage.

SO, put on your big girl panties because it doesn't take THAT much effort to prepare your own sauce. Plus it's VEGAN PIZZA DAY so like I said earlier, don't lose sight of the Reason for the Season.

Here's what you'll need:

macaroni elbows
4 Cups vegetable broth
2 Tbl lemon juice
1 Tbl Earth Balance
2 Tbl olive oil
1/2 Cup flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp black pepper
a couple pinches of dried thyme, crumbled in your fingers
1 tsp turmeric
1 1/2 -2 Cups nutritional yeast
1 Tbl yellow mustard

Prepare the mararoni according to the directions on the package if you're a dummy or if you're not a dummy prepare the macaroni according to how normal humans prepare pasta. There's no crucial time frame for this so you can cook your pasta while gathering sauce ingredients, or mixing a cooking cocktail or finding the perfect Pandora station to cook to. When it's done, drain and set aside.

In a medium saucepan, heat your veggie stock over medium heat until it comes to an easy boil. Add the lemon juice, olive oil and Earth Balance and reduce to medium-low heat. Gently stir in the flour, salt, garlic powder, pepper, thyme and turmeric and cook for a 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Now add the nutritional yeast about a half cup at a time, stirring constantly to incorporate.

At this point, the sauce may bubble up on you. Watch out! Cover your face! Wear safety goggles! Or some hip Ray Bans or something.

Either way, once your nooch is all in, reduce the sauce to low heat and stir in the mustard - the crown jewel of any American dish. Stir a few more minutes until your heart is satisfied and remove from heat.

Set aside 1 cup of the sauce. Stir the rest in with your macaroni elbows and marvel at the beauty of humanity. If your mac and cheese is a little saucy - don't panic. This will be helpful to you in the end due to the wizardly habits of ovens and their tendency to dry things out.

Now is it time to assemble the pizza??? Yes. It is that time now. First! Heat your oven mega hot. (I do mine at 500. 475 or 450 is also acceptable.)

Let's prepare the crust. Toss your dough and make it work for you (I suggest turning on some Ru Paul for this piece). To make a stuffed crust, it works exactly as you think it will - stretch it out a little past the pan to have a little excess for rolling over. Line the edges with mozzorella Daiya cheese and fold the excess dough over.

Now, take that one cup of cheese sauce and spread it evenly over your pizza. Next, pile on the mac and cheese. Top with fried pickles. Brush the crust with melted Earth Balance and stick that guy in the oven for 18-20 minutes, checking back occasionally via the oven light but NOT via opening the door and gazing at your creation like a dumbass letting all the heat out for 20 seconds.

While your pizza is baking, prepare the easy peasy ranch sauce. Vegan ranch is no secret, nor is it too difficult to assemble. Here's a recipe I found on about.com that seems to work well for me:

1 Cup veganaise
1/4 Cup soymilk
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp black pepper
2 tsp parsley
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1/4 tsp dried dill

Whisk all ingredients together and THE END. I like the store mine in a squirt bottle for easy garnishing. It keeps about a week or two if you're brave. #upthepunx

When your pizza is done, remove from the oven, let cool, drizzle with ranch and enjoy with a PBR to celebrate your adulthood and remember this magical holiday that only comes once a year.

Curry Chickpeas and Pan-Fried Teriyaki Turkey with Spicy Almond Tahini Sauce

You may have heard by now that I only purchase faux meat products when they are on manager's special at Kroger, throw them in the freezer and save them for a rainy day [read: a long-ass 3 PBR day]. This particular long-ass 3 PBR day was an emotionally heartwrenching one (likely involving my poor dying toenail or the ghosts that haunt my 130-year-old home or purchasing a non-ripe avocado or something of comparable heartache) and I wanted comfort food.

If you are looking for a different way to prepare any faux deli slices you have lying around the house, this is a good way to dress up that turkey for a night on the town. Totally appropriate for any fancy-ass dinner party complete with candles and cut-off jeans and the like.

First prepare the chickpeas.

Here's the stuffs (serves two, because, date night):

1 1/2 cup canned chickpeas
1 Tbl curry powder
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 Tbl extra virgin olive oil

Preheat your oven to 400. In a small bowl, whisk together the dry spices. In a separate, medium-sized bowl, toss your chickpeas with the olive oil to evenly coat them. Then add the spice mixture and toss everything around similar to a 15-year-old Meredith at her first MXPX show. Make sure everything is evenly coated.

Toss your chickpeas into a shallow baking pan and throw them in the oven, uncovered, once it is thoroughly heated. These will need to roast for 35 minutes, so let's get to work on your other elements.

Now is a good time to start on the sauce. Have we talked lately about how the key to any great dish is an exceptional sauce? No? Well, the thing is, anyone can prepare a pan-fried meat slices or baked polenta or crab cakes or spring rolls or what have you, but the sauce is the glue. Many dishes are nothing without it. So pay attention! Gather your sauce ingredients:

1 Cup raw, unsalted almonds
1/4 Cup water
1/2 Cup tahini
1 Tbl chili garlic sauce
1 tsp Frank's Red Hot or Louisiana or your hot sauce of choice*
1 tsp sea salt

*As a declared Kentuckian and loyal PBR drinker with two missing teeth and a busted up front bumper, I take pride in my dedication to Frank's Red Hot (or the occasional Texas Pete) as my redneck hot sauce of choice.

In a food processor, chop up the almond until they are crumbly. Do you know what I mean by "crumbly"? Good. We are all adults here. Once they are crumbly, slowly add the 1/4 cup of water and blend until evenly mixed. It should be rather creamy at this point, but if not, don't panic, we will get to this later.

Next, add the remainder of your ingredients and process until evenly mixed. If the sauce is too thick for your liking, add more water one tablespoon at a time until it is perfect.

This can be served as it, but it will make the cohesive dish temperature a little wonky, so I suggest heating it in a small saucepan on low heat, stirring occasionally, until your dish is pulled together and ready for plating.

Now let's get to the turkey! First, cut up your rounded slabs of faux turkey deli slices (however many you feel will feed two people - I used 6 or 7 slices I think) into strips. Now let's prepare the stir-fry sauce. Here's what you'll need:

1 Tbl Braggs liquid aminos
2 Tbl teriyaki sauce
2 tsp brown sugar
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp olive oil

Whisk together all ingredients in a small bowl. Easy! Now, find yourself a non-stick skillet and heat your teriyaki sauce in it over medium-high heat. Wait about a half a minute for it to heat thoroughly and then throw your slices in there about 4 or 5 at a time. These should begin to fry rather quickly on a higher heat, so stir constantly. When the edges are black or charred, remove from heat and set aside to assemble your dish.

By now, your chickpeas should be finished. Remove those from the oven. It's time to plate! My favorite time of day!

Lay your almond tahini sauce as a base. Then dump a pile of chickpeas in the center of the puddle. Lay strips of turkey across the top of the chickpea mound. Garnish with sesame seeds. Ta-da!

Arrested Development Extravaganza!!

Oh guys. The time has come. This little lady has been waiting impatiently for FOUR YEARS (roughly the same amount of time it takes an "average" "college student" to finish a "bachelor's degree," apparently - which is a long time!) for new Arrested Development, and FINALLY the day has come. That cheeky little ballcapped Ron Howard, everyone's favorite ginger in Hollywood, has finally read my baker's dozen of threatening letters and has released Season Four of Arrested Development.

So what else is a hungry girl to do but THROW A PARTAY?! I am always looking for another excuse to feed people. This seemed like a no-brainer. I'll share with you the entire menu near the bottom of this post, but what I really want to discuss here today is my George Sr. SoCal Cornballs. These are easy, fast, and SO delicious. Omnivores devoured them and they fit the theme of the evening perfectly. So hunker down, find some frying oil, put on your favorite Jerky Boys record and let's get cornballing! No Rules, no boundaries, go ahead touch the cornballer you know best!

YO SOY LOCO POR LOS CORNBALLS!

Here's what you'll need:

1 1/2 Cups cornmeal
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 Cup flour
1 tsp salt
2 egg replacers
1 handful of pickled jalapenos
1/2 Cup canned corn
1/2 Cup Daiya cheddar style shreds
1/4 Cup almond milk

Start with your dry ingredients - whisk together well. Then add the remaining ingredients. If these come out a little dry, add a little milk to moisten them up. The important thing to keep in mind here is that you spend some time making these with the ones you love. These are good for premiere parties but they are even BETTER for a Saturday morning pre-bike-ride snack. Unless your son decides he has better things to do.

Wop wop.

The most important piece of this recipe is getting the frying down. Since The Cornballer hasn't yet reached Kentucky, here we must resort to tried-and-true methods of old fashioned frying in vegetable oil. Be careful though - it's still pretty damn hot if you touch the side.

Find yourself a small saucepan, and fill it about halfway up with vegetable oil. Turn on high and wait a few minutes. Here's where you need to do a test drop - pinch a teeny bit of cornabll mix and toss it in the oil. If it starts to fry, then your oil is ready. If not, then keep waiting. LISTEN guys - I am one impatient gal when it comes to fried treats like George Sr.'s SoCal Cornballs, but you MUST wait for the oil to be hot enough before tossing those suckers in. Once they're ready, turn your oil down to medium-high and throw them in a couple at a time.

Follow standard protocol for frying stuff (until golden brown), remove with a fork and let dry on a paper towel. 

I served these with a sweet mustard sauce, which was BOMB. Just whisk together some brown deli mustard, veganaise, maple syrup and a peeeench of brown sugar and voila! Delicious. 

And for the rest of the menu....

Vodka and Toast

"Get me a vodka rocks"

"Mom, it's breakfast."

"And toast."

Bangers and Mash

"Who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right, I forgot, here in the states, you call it a *sausage* in the mouth."
"We just call it a sausage."

Skip's Scramble

Too many choices? Menu too big to swallow? Let Skip serve you up a scram that has something from every dish on the menu. It will knock you into next week! $47.95 a la carte.

Made this with kale hash browns, cheddar Daiya, smokey tempeh bacon,  and tofu scramble with mushrooms, peppers, spinach and carrots.

Frozen Bluth Bananas

These were frozen twice over and dipped in dark chocolate, rolled in almonds and cashews.

10 cents gets you nuts!

and finally...

Chick'n Fingers.. With Spicy Club Sauce

Also, not pictured:

boxed white zinfandel wine

ice cream sandwiches

Just a Reminder That We are Allowed to Eat Whatever We Want

Just because you are vegan doesn't mean you can't miss out on Cheesy Kale Hot Dog Sammich Time.

Just a reminder. And a poem (that's not really a poem at all but actually just an excerpt from "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" by the beautiful Annie Dillard) to commemorate.

Thomas Merton wrote, "there is always temptation to diddle around in the contemplative life, making itsy-bitsy statues." There is always an enormous temptation in all of life to diddle around by making itsy-bitsy friends and meals and journeys for years on end. It is all so self-conscious, so apparently moral, to step aside from the gaps where the creeks and the winds pour down, saying, I never merited this grace, quite rightly, and then to sulk along the rest of your days on the edge of rage.

I won't have it. The world is wilder than that in all directions, more dangerous and bitter, more extravagant and bright. We are making hay when we should be making whoopee; we are raising tomatoes when we should be raising Cain, or Lazarus.

...served with sweet and spicy brown mustard. Duh :)

Shaken Vanilla Chai

The sun is out and it is high time for midday cocktails!

One of the many perks of the Starbucks barista life is the plethora of markouts we are given. Each partner is allotted one pound of whole bean coffee, one box of K-cups, one tin of Tazo tea or one box of chai concentrate every week! Amazing. So you know imma whip up some springtime cocktails with my partner benefit. This is sweet, a little spicy and perfectly caffeinated. 

This has been my go-to the past few weeks. Here's how you make it.

1/2 Cup chai tea concentrate

1/2 Cup vanilla soymilk

2 oz. rum

1 scoop ice

Shake all ingredients. Strain and serve chilled over one cube of ice. Garnish with cinnamon and Annie Dillard.

This is My Buddha Bowl (and a ramble on vegan running)

This was my last cooked dish before my most recent half-marathon, and I gotta say, it definitely energized me to finish. It's amazing what we can accomplish with plant power when we are not hungover!!

Here's what went into this bowl:

Citrus Black Beans and Rice
Coconut-Roasted Brussel Sprouts
Steamed Kale
Baked Peanut Tofu

#yumtown

The kale and the Brussel Sprouts are pretty self-explanatory, so I won't delve into detail with them here. But let's talk about how this all went down. A lot of people ask me about how to cook certain things sometimes, and I always tell them that most of the time, it's a simple process - you just need to get your timing right. Which gets easier the more you cook! How convenient.

First, preheat your oven to 400. Thankfully, the sprouts and the tofu need about the same time to roast/bake, so no headache needed with your oven. While your oven is preheating, mix the tofu sauce. Here's what you'll need:

1/2 Cup peanut butter (chunky - always chunky in my world!)
2 Tbl Bragg's liquid aminos
1 tsp sesame oil
1/4 Cup water
1 Tbl brown sugar

Whisk all ingredients together really well. Then toss with well-pressed, cubed tofu. I used about 1/3 a block with this dish, since I was only serving one.

[crickets]

Throw your tofu in a glass baking dish and prepare your sprouts. I love sprouts because they are super easy and not as terrible tasting as childhood folklore holds. Also they are good for you? Half them (because it's precious) and place face down in a cast iron skillet. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Once your oven is heated, throw those suckers in. About 5 minutes later, take one spoonful of coconut oil and toss it in your cast iron wherever you please. This will seep through the Brussel Sprouts and make them mega-tasty. Now close the oven, you dummy!

The cool part here is that you get to wait another 20 minutes before needing to do anything again. You can do dishes or push-ups or laundry or update your blog (nope) or chase your roommate around the house for a good old fashioned tickle fight or walk to Spencer's for a double espresso. But after the first 20 minutes of roasting, take both dishes out and flip them to let the other sides bake evenly. Then put them in for another 20 minutes. (For English majors, this is a total of FORTY minutes for baking).

After you've gotten from espresso from Spencer's and have flipped your oven babies, start the rice. This stuff is BOMB and I must give a huge shoutout to my boy Justin Philalack (roommate and culinary artist extraordinare) for this inspiration. It's easy peasy, delicious and full of nutrients perfect for kicking ass at a half-marathon in a relentless rainstorm.

Grab these things:

rice (however much suits your fancy)
1 can black beans
1/2 orange peel, minced
2 cloves minced garlic
2 Tbl Braggs liquid aminos
1 tsp ginger powder, or 2 tsp fresh minced ginger (better. obvi)

Cook the rice first. This should be simple. Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, heat the garlic in a dab of olive oil over medium for about 2 minutes. Add the orange peel and stir to incorporate for about 1 minute. Then stir in the rest of the ingredients, and heat on low, stirring occasionally, until the rice is finished. Once it's done, drain the rice and incorporate into the black beans.

Done! Somewhere in there should be the steaming of a good handful of kale. But all it requires is 5 minutes of heating in a pan (with a little bit of water) with a saucepan lid over the kale to keep in the steam. Duuh easy.

This was the longest race as a vegan, and I gotta say, it felt pretty damn good. I know I didn't train well enough, but adrenaline and crowds and Katy Perry and American-flag-guy and goal-setting got me through it. It's unfortunate that we have grown up believing that animal products supply us with bountiful nutrients we can't get anywhere else - that are in fact vital to a physically demanding lifestyle.

Just for example, this meal alone (one serving) contains the following:

Vitamin C -294%. Vitamin C forms important proteins that build tendons, ligaments, blood vessels and skin. It also acts as an enzyme in the breaking down of all your delicious front-porch meals, AND acts as an antioxidant to clean up the mess that all those free radicals make when you break down food. Vitamin C keeps you younger longer and keeps your body functioning with efficiency!

Iron - 71%. Some vegans/vegetarians don't get enough iron in their diet, which is simply because they don't eat enough vegetables. It is found in lots of animal products but is just as abundant in dense vegetables. We need iron to make certain proteins in our body, and also to carry oxygen to blood.

Vitamin B-6 - 40%. Protein is essential to building muscle mass to prepare for a race, but it is nothing without a good dose of B-6, which is crucial in breaking down those proteins. It also produces antibodies that fight diseases and keep your immune system strong.

Magnesium - 42%. One silly obscure mineral that is actually involved in more than 300 biochemical functions in your body. It helps maintain normal muscle and nerve function, keeps heart rhythm steady, supports a healthy immune system, and keeps bones strong. It also helps regulate blood sugar levels, promotes normal blood pressure, and is involved with metabolism and protein synthesis. Woah!

Vitamin A - 133%. Helps maintain healthy skin, teeth, skeletal and soft tissues, mucus membranes, etc. This stuff helps keep us healthy when we are putting our physical bodies under great stress.

Calcium - 53%. Clearly very important for keeping your bones strong! It also helps the messaging system between the nerves and muscles and brain efficient.

Protein - 39 grams. Any vegan gets this question all the time - "But where do you get your protein??????" It can get frustrating talking with people who refuse to believe that you are in fact getting enough nutrition to be a runner, cyclist, casual waterpark volleyballer, etc. on a plant-based diet. I don't want to hop up on a conspiracy-theorist soap box or anything, but there truly is a LOT of nutritional propaganda put out there by the meat industry. They want us to believe that a) we need more protein than we do and b) that we can only obtain said massive amounts of protein through animal products.Check out the Vegetarian Resource Guide for a more detailed breakdown on the nutrients at play here.

Potassium - 831 mg. Potassium is important. The end.

Vitamin K - 600%. What???? That's like, 6 times more than what is recommended by our socialist president Barack Hussein Obama???! Check it out - kale is super high in Vitamin K, which is good for your blood and good for your bones. It helps prevent calcification in your arteries AND is good for your liver.

Fiber - 87%. Besides the obvious benefit of keeping you "regular," which is a HUGE advantage to a fiber-rich diet (vegans are the quickest poopers), it also can reduce your risk for breast cancer.


Now that I am finished with the half-marathon, I am now training for my FIRST FULL in October! It's terrifying and exciting and I can't wait to share how it's going. If you are a vegan athlete, holler and me and share your favorite pre-race recipes!

Pumpkin Seed Corn Fritters with Mushroom Gravy

"It's kind of like biscuits and gravy?"

I like this brunch alternative to biscuits and gravy because it's teeny bit more nutritional than the traditional biscuit and also because MUSHROOMS. <3

Also they are pretty easy. People have doubts, naturally, about vegan gravy but I say it is a) delicious and b) simple. I happened to have some seasoned vegetable oil leftover from making fried sweet potato fritters, so that works perfect if you have some sitting around. If not, just use regular vegetable oil.

Here's how the gravy goes down (make this first):

1 Cup chopped mushrooms
1/2 Tbl soy sauce
2 Cups almond milk (or your preferred nondairy milk)
1/2 Cup all-purpose flour (plus more to taste)
1 tsp ground thyme
1 1/2 Tbl black pepper
1 Tbl salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 Tbl seasoned vegetable oil

Heat the soy sauce in a medium saucepan over medium heat for about one minute. Then toss in the mushrooms, along with the thyme, pepper, salt and cayenne and satueé for 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add the vegetable oil and sauteé for another 3 minutes.

Next, add the almond milk and give it a good stir. Gradually add the flour, roughly 1 tablespoon at a time, and it will slowly thicken. Continue to add as needed until you reach desired consistency.

Meanwhile (or shortly thereafter), prepare your corn cakes. I've been doing a lot of corn cakes lately so if you haven't caught on yet, here's the recipe for the pumpkin seed version:

1 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup flour1 tsp baking powder1/2 tsp salt1 cup chopped pumpkin seeds1/2 tsp black pepper1/2 Tbl white sugar
1 Tbl apple cider vinegar1/4 Cup almond milk or soy milk1 Tbl canola oil


In a cast iron skillet, heat the pumpkin seeds on medium heat for about 3 minutes, stirring constantly. This will give them a good toasting. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together your flour, cornmeal, baking powder, salt, pumpkin seeds, pepper and sugar. In a separate bowl, curdle the almond milk with the apple cider vinegar and let sit for about one minute. Then add the milk/AC vinegar mixture to the dry mix, along with the canola oil. Mix until thoroughly combined.

Spoon drops of the batter into a heated cast iron skillet with about 1/4" canola oil in it. Fry these on medium heat, flipping every couple minutes, until a nice toasty brown.

The great thing about gravy is that it can always be reheated on the stove, stirred and served up warm. So if your timing isn't perfect, heat that stuff up, give it a good stir and call it a day. Serve the fritters warm with gravy poured on top.

Serve with beer on the porch.