Roasted Parsnips with Candied Pepitas in Spicy Tahini Sauce

I had no idea what this was going to be, but I was so, so satisfied with what came out.

(thatswhatshesaid?)

Sorry. Anyway. I've had these parsnips hanging around like a newly divorced uncle for too long, so I knew I had to dress them up for a night on the town to meet some new friends. This was a rather silly endeavor, as these look rather fancy but the whole meal took less than a half-hour to prepare. Easy peasy! Uncle Bob's got a date, ladies!

First, roast your parsnips - this will take the longest time. Preheat your oven to 350 and melt about 2T of coconut oil. Slice the parsnips and toss in a small bowl with the coconut oil to completely coat them. Then place these in a roasting pan and throw them in the oven for about 10 minutes.

Next, prepare your rice. I used forbidden rice here, which has an marginally exotic taste and add color to any dish. I love forbidden rice, and it has just as much fiber as brown rice. ALSO IT'S BLACK. Mildly interesting, yes? So go ahead and boil that, covered, with 2 parts water to 1 part rice.

Now's a good time to mention - after the first ten minutes of roasting your parsnips, remove them from the oven, given them a good toss (wink), and stick them back in the oven for another ten minutes. Now let's get to the sauce. Here's what you'll need:

2 T tahini
1/4 C water
1 tsp miso paste
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 T Braggs liquid aminos
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 T apple cider vinegar
1 T garlic chili sauce

This is a pretty easily-constructed sauce - over medium-low heat, add each ingredient one at a time, mixing each one until fully combined. Once fully mixed, keep on a simmer until the rest of your meal is ready.

If your parsnips, rice and sauce are ready, go ahead and prepare your pepitas. In a shallow bowl, mix a handful of pepitas (now is maybe a good time to mention that pepitas are just another name for pumpkin seeds - glad we had this discussion) with a couple of drops of pure maple syrup - just enough to fully coat each seed. Pour them into a roasting tin an broil for about 3 or 4 minutes.

This should absolutely be the last step, as the pepitas will stay in whatever the hell place you shape them too, once cooled. So plate your sauce, rice, and parsnips before removing the pepitas from the oven. Spoon them directly from the pan to the dish, where they will (soon, I promise) cool into a precious little pumpkin seed pile. How sweet.

Someone give me a treat for all the awful puns and innuendos today?