Spold Mac

One of my favorite restaurants in Portland is The Montage, located underneath the Morrison Bridge, just on the Southeast side of the city. It's a cajun spot with sassy servers, viking-style seating, dim lights and late hours. I love this place, and even more, I love their famous mac n' cheese dishes. So when I went vegan, I was a little bit sad (though eventually satisfied, to be honest) when ordering a black-eyed-pea salad at this spot.

Their most popular dishes are the Old Mac, the Spicy Mac, and the Spold Mac - a combination of both. I always order the Spold, so here's a veganized version of one of my favorite dishes ever. It's creamy, spicy, and super super nostalgic in just the right kind of mid-90's Portland sort of way.

3 cloves garic, minced
1/2 C cauliflower, chopped
1/2 C shredded carrots, chopped
1/2 package tempeh, cubed
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp oregano
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 C nutritional yeast
1/4 C soy sauce
2 T chili garlic sauce
1/4 C soy creamer

First, boil some pasta. I happened to have a mix of shells, rotini and macaroni and it was perfect. But I recognize this dish is indeed a mac dish, so feel free to just use elbows.

Meanwhile, saute your garlic, cauliflower, carrots and tempeh in olive oil, over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes. Then add your spices and nutritional yeast, and cook another two minutes.

Next, add your cooked pasta and toss with the veggies, stirring constantly for a minute or so to make sure the pasta is well mixed with the spice. Finally, reduce heat and add the soy sauce, chili garlic sauce and soy creamer, and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Enjoy with frog legs, alligator jambalaya and a Red Stripe beer! I mean. Or.

Orange Blossom Green Tea Cookies with Candied Tangerine

This recipe is inspired by my Instagram friend Jen, who recently has been posting a lot of photos of cookies and treats with tea in them. Please go read her blog NOW. You will never be the same.

These cookies are super easy, but before we get to them, let's talk about candied tangerine peels. I realize that it's Christmastime, and every morning regular whose name you don't know at your coffee shop is handing out plastic bags full of candied orange peels, which you will ultimately snack on for less than 3 minutes before leaving in the back room until the New Year. They're simple but they're not-so-simple, they're tasty but not necessarily something you crave. They are kind of cute? They sparkle? But they're not endearing. It's true.

UNLESS you use them to top your pastries, in my opinion. The bitter citrus rind packs a powerful punch, and can add complexity to anything. But be careful, because they certainly overpower even the strongest flavor. I like using them to compliment already citrus-y flavors. 

I only used tangerines because I had been eating a bag of them at the house this week. I do, however, like that they're a little stronger flavor than your typical Valencia orange.

Make these candied tangerines first, of course, because they take a hella long time. Here's what you need:

tangerine peels, sliced into strips - I used 5 peels because that's what I had on hand

4 C sugar. Seriously.

1 C water

Toss the peels in a pot of water and bring to boil, then drain and rinse the peels with cold water. Repeat this process twice more, to mellow out the bitterness of the peel. 

Next, whisk the sugar with the 1C water and cook on low for about 6 minutes. Reduce to simmer and add the peels, then cook without stirring for about 45 minutes. Drain the peels (but haste makes waste, and we can definitely use this syrup for something in the future), then roll them in sugar and place on a rack for a hella long time. Like 5 hours, or more if you're not in a hurry. I let mine dry overnight. My dad put them on top of his trailer in the garage, actually. How sweet.

The cookies are super simple: I just added crushed tea to my favorite sugar cookie recipe. Here's how to make the cookies:

1 1/4 C all-purpose flour

3/4 C powdered sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1 T cornstarch

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp cream of tartar

2 bags of orange green tea, finely crushed (I used Tazo Orange Blossom... delicious! And free with my Starbucks partner markout)

1/2 C coconut oil at room temperature, soft but not melted

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 soy milk

In a medium mixing bowl, combine your wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together your dry ingredients, then add to the wet ones. If your dough is too soft, add more soy milk, or even a dash of canola oil. 

Most great bakers make a good case for chilling your sugar cookie dough at least two hours before baking, to which I say, listen, I am an impatient gal. But since my orange peels are just sitting in the garage anyhow, it wouldn't hurt to wait.

When ready to bake, heat your oven to 350. Bake for 10-12 minutes on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Top with candied peels immediately upon removing from the oven, so the tops are still soft. 

Buffalo Chicken Dip

I am already super insecure about this recipe so I'll go ahead and say first thing - processed ingredients alert!! Geee! ::hides in shame::

But it's so good, so here you go. Sigh. This is the first time I've ever uploaded a recipe with anything like vegan sour cream, but I think it is absolutely worth it, because we are all allowed cheats every once in a while, right? My friend Katherine says, "There are never absolutes."

This is a great dish to bring to a party or event where there will be lots of non-vegan-types around. It's super bad for you and super delicious. I took it to three holiday parties this year, and it got rave reviews by herbivores and omni's alike.

If you're still not convinced, I suggest you take a minute to imagine how floored your friends will be when you arrive at their Christmas party dressed as Sexy Penguin, holding a bowl of vegan buffalo chicken dip and a six-pack of Fat Tire. YOU WILL BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL. Trust me.

So here's what you'll need: (cringe)

2 T coconut oil
2 T minced garlic
1/4 C Earth Balance
1 Not Chick'n bouillon cube
1/2 C Tofutti cream cheese
1 C Tofutti sour cream
1/2 C soy creamer
1 C soy milk
1 bottle Franks Red Hot sauce or vegan buffalo sauce (many have butter so pay attention!)
1/4 C flour
2 tsp paprika
1 tsp black pepper

1 package of firm tofu, drained and pressed
1 C chopped walnuts


Preparation here is easy: Heat the coconut oil over medium-low heat until melted, then add garlic. Then, continue adding each ingredient one at a time, until melted and mixed well. Once you add the paprika, pulse the walnuts in a food processor until fine, almost powdery. Then, add the tofu to the processor and pulse until chunky. Add this mixture to the pot of sauce and cook another 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Garnish with celery, as if by some ridiculous logic that small amount of vegetable will somehow redeem anything you're doing today.

Orange Ginger Cookies with Fondant Weave

I'm sitting here at my desk, debating whether or not to indulge in a rant about the irony of patting myself on the back for making beautiful cookies for my younger brother's graduation, when I have yet to figure out when I am going to march down to that English office at WKU and say "HEY GUYS can I have a degree now please?" I hear that's all you have to do.

Well anyhow. My baby brother graduated from University of Tennessee this weekend and I am proud of him. If you ever hear someone scoff or roll their eyes and say something about how college these days is a joke and degrees are a dime a dozen, sock them in the balls and ask them how many books they've read. Because it's probably not many. Probably.

Anyhow, because I am sap for being festive, here we are. It's probably a good idea to prepare the fondant first, as that will take much more time than anything. But first, a quick rant on fondant.

Fondant is traditionally made with gelatin, which is obviously not vegan. Most vegan fondant recipes I've seen involve agar agar powder, glycerin or other silly (though surely helpful) ingredients. But I am mostly poor and lazy so this recipe will work in a pinch. It may be more greasy than others, but you can adjust your roll by adding more sugar if need be.

Fondant rant part II: this crap ain't easy, guys. Or not to me, at least. You need a good space, a clean surface and a lot of patience to decorate cookies or pastries so make sure to consider the outcome of your hard work. Sometimes you'll take these to a party where the drunk attendees will never remember your treats. Sometimes your co-workers will never see your cookies on the break table. So make sure to photograph them so that all your time and patience can at least launch you into Instafame.

Here's what you'll need:

1/4 C light corn syrup
1/4 C non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 C confectioner's sugar

You may need to adjust these as you go, so keep the sugar handy. So melt the shortening and mix with corn syrup, then add each other ingredient one at a time. When it's time to add the sugar, do so in small amounts, stirring until you have a stuff dough. At this point, you may work on it with your hands. Here's the point where you might get frustrated, even hopeless. Don't fret, just keep adding sugar! The thing I like to keep in mind when baking (because I am NOT a talented baker by any means), is that most people (particularly 22-year-old fraternity boys) really have limited knowledge as to the finer points of baking. So whatever you do, it's going to look impressive to SOMEONE. Surely. Right?

So. Roll it out, flatten it on your counter, and prepare to cut into strips, bowls, balls, arrows, hearts, bathing-suit-area body parts, mustaches, or what have you.

Let's get onto the cookies! These are pretty easy peasy, particularly after working with fondant. Gather yo shit:

2 C all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 C raw sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup soy milk
1/2 C molasses
1/4 C canola oil

Preheat your oven to 350. Sift together your dry ingredients minus the sugar. In a separate bowl, mix together your wet ingredients and the sugar. Combine the two, and stir until mixed. When your dough is ready, roll into balls of your liking (balls of your liking!) and bake on a lightly greased cookie sheet for 12 minutes. Let cool before you decorate them, you dummy!

And go finish that degree!

Sweet and Spicy Chicken and Waffles

Sometimes, a girl's just gotta eat some chicken and waffles, is what I always say. This meal might just be the tastiest thing I've ever made, but it also might be the biggest cop-out of a recipe I've ever posted on here. The chicken cutlets are based largely on Isa Chandra's chickpea cutlet recipe, which can be found at the always fabulous Post Punk Kitchen blog. But the tweaks I have made involve relatively processed ingredients, so indulge at your own risk.

These suckers don't take a lot of time but they are somewhat ingredient intensive. I don't know about you guys but when I read "prep time: 15 minutes," that generally means "searching for not-often-used-spices, spilling them on the floor, looking through the fridge and get distracted by cleaning out whatever the smell is time: 35 minutes." So gather your things first, stay focused, and remember: chicken and waffles. We can do this.

Here's what you'll need for the chicken (again, largely ganked from the PPK):

1 (16oz) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/4 C olive oil
1 C vital wheat gluten
1 C breadcrumbs
1 Not Chicken bouillon cube dissolved in 1/2 C water (I used Edward on Sons, because sometimes they are on sale, you know, and they're not laced with anything horrific or scary)
1/4 C soy sauce
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp rubbed sage

Pulse chickpeas in a food processor (or mash them with a fork.. or your fingers... or your mind?) then transfer to a mixing bowl. Add everything else and kneed together with your hands. Once they get stretchy and stringy, cut the dough in half, then in half again, then in half again, until you are satisfied with the size of your cutlets.

Fry each of these in a skillet in a small amount of olive oil for just a few minutes, then set aside to cool.

Once completely cooled, it's time to bread and fry! Here's what you'll need:

2 C soy milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
breading - this can be flour and your choice of spices, but I just unapoligetically used Kentucky Colonel
non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening

First, curdle your soy milk with the apple cider vinegar until completely mixed, and let sit for a minute. Once curdled, dip each cutlet (one at a time, slow down!) into the milk, let drip, then bread in the flour or other breading you've chosen. Set aside and heat up enough shortening in a cast iron skillet to cover the bottom, and about, oh, I don't know, 1/3 an inch of the side of the skillet.

So fry those suckers for about 5 minutes on each side, or until golden brown.

The waffle recipe is indeed my own, and is gluten free, but that's for another day. If you need to, I mean while you're at it and everything, go ahead and slap these guys on top of some store-bought frozen waffles. You really aren't losing much of yourself in this case. I mean store-bought frozen waffles are bomb. Really.

But the kale on bottom is crucial - saute some kale in a little olive oil for a few minutes, then add chili garlic sauce and continue cooking for another minute or too.

Also the syrup here - which is clutch! - was maple syrup mixed with whole pomegranate arils. This MAKES the dish, don't leave it out!

And needless to say, this dish goes perfectly with a midday PBR and a few hours of My Best Friend's Wedding.